A Brief History of My Battle with Suicide
So I won't touch on it too much, but I have had my fair share of close calls with this hellish state of being.
I suffer from several physical and mental disorders which put a massive damper on things. I also have endured a two year abusive relationship as well as a lot of childhood trauma, too. Basically, a culmination of things caused my brain to come up with a rather self destructive solution to all my problems.
But I'm still kicking.
And here's how I still am doing so...
So I've had my fair share of psychiatric help. In 2015, I became rather suicidal and an Australian youth mental health service called Headspace helped so much! For any Australians reading, I'd recommend them highly!
2016 wasn't as fortunate. I moved states, lost contact with Headspace, had a rubbish psyche, and got into a very abusive relationship that lasted two years—just wasn't good.
Fast forward to the beginning of 2018. I left the relationship behind, I moved states, I got an amazing psychologist, and life was good on the outside. On the inside, I was collapsing. That's when I went into a private psychiatric hospital. A psychologist wasn't enough—I needed the big guns. And the big guns provided. They had a pretty decent psychiatrist who knew his medication well, and it helped a lot. The psychologist in the clinic was amazing. The people were all empathetic because, well, we're all there for a reason.
Long story short, I got a lot of professional help, and help it did, and it can help you too.
I am not going to name any medications or doses here for one reason: everyone is so vastly different that any suggestion I make can have different effects for other people, so I leave that info to the professionals.
Medications have helped me so much this year alone. And they helped so much during 2015 as well. They made me well enough to let psychiatric help do it job better. Overall, it's great. Also, sort of breaking rules, as it's not technically a medication, but Plant Based Omega 3-6-9 helps a lot for getting rid of brain fog. You should be able to get it from most pharmacies.
I've seen medications make some of the worst anxiety in my friends become almost completely subsided. I've seen a friend go from considering suicide to being stable enough to live by themselves.
Consult with medical professionals and see what works for you.
This may be one you've heard a lot, but it helps a lot. Here's why:
Writing your thoughts, reading the words back, and reading them out loud helps your brain make some sense. Each of these actions stimulate more of the brain and allows for more processing to be done. Combining them can be useful and helpful.
Journal how you want to do it. It doesn't have to be a traditional "Dear Diary." Mine aren't. My scribbles look more like what you see on the walls of a psych ward in a movie or TV show than they do traditional "sticking to the lines" method.
Go back and read previous entries if you have to. I regularly look at my entries from a year ago and several months ago to see the contrast of how I was vs how I am now. It puts things in perspective.
Friend and family help in moderation.
This will be a short one as it's straight forward.
Your friends and family, your most trusted loved ones, are there for you.
They aren't your personal therapists, nor are they available at any time as they have their own lives, troubles, anxieties, and stresses to worry about. Them being there for you always is highly unrealistic and if they aren't there it doesn't make them a bad person, nor does it mean they don't care.
Whatever your brain tells you, your friends and family love and care about you, but can't always be there. Keep that in mind.
The Most Controversial: Just do it.
The biggest struggle of bad mental health is not being able to do things.
But sometimes the priority is just having to push to get the required help. Sometimes you have to stop the "woe is me" mind set and get your act together. Nothing in life is ever easy. Getting and working a job isn't easy. Marriage/relationships aren't easy. Neither is mental health care. You must must must put in to get out.
The only person that can let you be helped is YOU!
Remember, you aren't alone.
You have professionals, you have loved ones, you have hotlines. This world has never been more connected. Utilise these gifts whenever you can. Humans are worth 100 percent of the good that is available. That includes YOU!
It's the hardest thing to do—believe me, I know. But to get better and get the happy life you desire, you must put in to get out. 2+2=4 quick maths.
Be safe, my readers. May you learn happiness and joy. It is always achievable. <3