Stop Educating The Narcissists

The last two girls I dated were Narcissistic, or at minimum, had extreme traits. The ex before the previous had a therapist tell her she exhibited signs of Narcissism, but at the time, I had no idea what this shit was. I even told her the therapist must be nuts! Because she was perfect! If I had known, maybe I wouldn't be where I am today. Looking back, all the signs were there, but my Co-Dependency issues blinded me to the red flags, and I dived in headfirst.

After that relationship, here comes the second Narcissist. My ex was more Covert than my previous ex; again, all the signs were there, but I chose to ignore them. It's been four years of hell. Lies, manipulation, cheating, gaslighting, physical abuse, deflection, projections, the whole nine yards! It's been fucking brutal.

I severely screwed up by mentioning the word Narcissism to her or any of the Narcissistic terms, and she tried to use them against me. They are very good at projecting and shift blaming when called on their actions. They will not and can not accept the abusive behavior. They will either project it on to you, minimize it, justify it, or flat out deny it. You will forget what the fuck you were trying to address by the time they are finished with you.

Here is an example of Narcissist delusion. My ex writes, too; she actually thinks she's an author when she never published a book! She even says it in her bio, but she is anything but an author. She is an author of delusion! She loves the "titles" she can give herself that don't exist.

Below is a message of what happens when you call them on their abusive behavior.

Notice she says she dated a Covert Narcissist?! She has me pegged! NOT!

What Covert Narcissist goes to one of the top coaches in the field for Narcissistic abuse?

After having enough manipulation and trying to battle the cognitive dissonance and trauma bond, I finally broke down and started working with Meredith Miller of Inner Integration. I've watched her videos for years, trying to make sense of the madness. But my ex is so Covert I couldn't believe this girl to be a Narcissist. I mean, she would cry, show emotions at times, and seem highly vulnerable. But it wouldn't be long before she would start her entitlement bullshit with lies, cheating, manipulation, and abuse once she had me hooked again. It was god awful.

I have empathy, and she doesn't. She would do the most horrific shit, and I still question how someone could do what she did. True sick shit! Her arrogance is sickening, and it is NOT confidence like she says. Huge difference!

Do you notice in the post how she tells on herself? That's what's great once you become aware. Please sit back and let the Narcissist talk, and they tell you all you need to know.

She says I openly write about my three failed relationships, and no, the only one I write about is her on my Quora page. She also says that all I say is, "I'm never heard or understood!" Newsflash! That's a common symptom of a narcissist victim! Everyone gets sick of listening to the victim because they don't understand it! I've run some terrific friends off and almost family, and they can't sit and watch this shit storm anymore.

She's telling on herself, and then at the end, she says I am a beautiful person, that's why she loves me! WTF, you get my drift of the delusion?

I'm telling you from experience, do not mention to the Narcissist what you are learning. It can and will be used against you! I seriously think they are unaware of what they do, and it's survival for them to protect their fragile ego.

She writes how she tried so hard. Notice how she didn't mention she fucked MY best friend, lied about being married when we got together, and triangulated me with her ex-husband and some guy in Oregon! She had multiple guys, always on the hood for when I misbehaved. She's delusional as fuck, and I was just as delusional staying in this shit for four years.

So now, I am doing what Meredith Miller is telling me. Keep reading my list of all 50+ horrible acts she did to me to break this dreaded Cognitive Dissonance, and it is rough, no shit. Whenever I have a good memory or think of reaching out, I erase it by reading "my list!"

So take it from me, educate yourself in silence. Then when you are ready and have a plan in place, make your exit. And if you can, block and avoid all contact! Don't read their social media or their delusion. I hadn't read her stuff in 3 months, but dumbass me thought I would give it another whirl, I believed all her bullshit, and it backfired on me again. She got upset because I couldn't get over all the lies and cheating quickly enough. There is no way I could get over what she has done to me, but the trauma bond kept me attached.

I'm day one, no contact again at this writing; it's a process. I can spot these assholes a mile away now, and it will NOT happen again.

So please, don't think you can explain anything you learn to them and help them. The Narcissists don't want help no matter what they say. My ex already told me she didn't need therapy and kept blaming my childhood trauma for everything, gaslighting at its finest.

Educate yourself and yourself only. Get a small group of people that understand what you are going through and vent to them. Find a qualified coach or therapist to work through the Cognitive Dissonance and Trauma Bond. You will definitely need to talk to someone that has "lived it" or understands it because you will run friends and family off with all the circular talk trying to explain the abuse. They will not understand why you can't leave. And their negativity won't help, trust me. But I understand why they don't "get it."

You have to live this shit to understand, and even then, you will question your sanity. And educating these monsters will add to your insanity.

Please don't do it.