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Stasis

Why the More People Change the More They Stay the Same.

By Daniel L. BaconPublished 2 years ago 2 min read
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Stasis
Photo by 浮萍 闪电 on Unsplash

Sometimes when we haven’t seen someone for a very long time, we revert back to the way we were when we last saw them. This is extremely beneficial for old friends who have lost contact--it’s like picking up a good conversation that took a 20-year break. In this respect, reverting back to who we were is beneficial for both parties.

However, not every acquaintance and relationship we held 20 years ago was beneficial, was it? Some were excruciatingly painful. We can have, ‘moved on,’ and grown to great heights past these relationships. But, in an instant--a walk past a former friend, a clip of an ex-pastor, an invitation for coffee--old bitter tea-leaves float into the kettle and poison the whole pot. I hear you cry,

“I thought time was supposed to mend all wounds?”

But no, time does nothing and neither does distance make the heart grow fonder. Inaction soon solidifies the very last thing we dwelt on in regard to that person and, as a result, we love and hate people we no longer know. Will we resolve to be indifferent until proven otherwise? To give the benefit of the doubt?

"What if I remember them fondly and they hold me at an arm’s length over some long-forgotten slight?"

We can begin to see the weight of words and actions developing in our minds, how unsettled feuds fuel frigid future relations. When two such forces meet one another, however long and far apart they have been; whatever growth they have deceived themselves into believing they had, they revert back to their old hot headed, hateful ways. This, in the minds of both participants, is proof!

“You never change. You’re still the same old person!”

Which is true, and it is not true. Individually, yes, we have changed, moved on, progressed but not in regard to the soul sitting across from us. We still believe the last thoughts we nurtured all those years ago, and that results in our behaviour.

In life we remain a static character to all those whom we mutually do not ever think about unless we are in their presence and, chances are, they re-enact how they were, we re-enact how we were, and the interaction is so short that we maintain our former opinions of that person until the next time we meet in the elevator of life. It is only in repairing the interface that we acknowledge one another as the dynamic, mutable beings that we are--capable and prone to change, but never by accident over time and long distance.

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About the Creator

Daniel L. Bacon

Any literature worth reading is first misunderstood and then unveiled to the true seekers of wisdom who reflect on deeper thoughts. Therefore, those who are wise withhold judgement to re-read these great works with their hearts and souls.

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran2 years ago

    This was eye-opening. And I totally agree with this statement 'But no, time does nothing and neither does distance make the heart grow fonder.' I enjoyed reading this piece!

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