Sometimes it's better to let go than hold on

A friend and colleague

I remember once when I lent a book to a friend.

We were colleagues and shared the same office.

As we got on well and she didn't take herself too seriously, we quickly hit it off.

She and her husband practiced swinging. It's not something my boyfriend and I would do, but hey, who am I to judge?

One day, after work, she came by my house before we went for a drink.

She suffered from pain somewhere, I don't remember if it was in the neck or elsewhere.

The famous book

I had a holistic natural health book in which there was a map of the human body.

Each area of the body corresponded to a medicinal plant supposed to cure any pain, rash, or other abnormality appearing in this place.

I suggested that I look into this book to find out which medicinal herb would suit her, and she was delighted.

She was impressed with the contents of the book and asked me if she could borrow it. I accepted.

At one condition

While I accepted, I asked her if she could bring it back to me quickly.

I explained to her that it was a book that I used frequently and that it was very dear to me since it had helped me on many occasions.

She replied that there was no problem, she would only keep it for 2-3 days to read the section that interested her.

Where is my book?

A week had passed, and she hadn't returned the book.

The probability that I was going to need it in the following days or weeks was low. Nevertheless, it was a book that I held very dear.

In addition, what annoyed me was that she was pretending nothing when she had promised to return it quickly.

The book police

I didn't want to remind her to bring the book back to me, because I didn't want to come across as uncool.

At the same time, if I didn't ask her, she might forget, and then maybe the same thing that happened to me with another of my friends would happen.

This other friend owed me money. Since I never dared to ask her, I finally never got it back.

She must have completely forgotten because she's someone I otherwise can always rely on.

Give me back my book

Going back to the story of the book, the following week I decided to confront my friend.

I asked her kindly if she would mind returning my book.

She answered, all surprised and apologizing in excuses, that yes, of course, she was going to bring it back to me, and she was going to do it the very next day.

The next morning, when I saw her arrive at the office, I was a little tense just at the thought that she might have forgotten it again.

She had a broad smile on her face, but…no trace of the book.

The day after and the following days, the same thing happened.

A crescendo nervousness

The more the days passed, the more my nervousness increased.

I didn't understand how she could forget the book every time when she had promised to return it after 2-3 days.

She could have used a Post-It note or her smartphone as a reminder.

I wondered if she was doing it on purpose and even playing a game.

A ridiculous situation

Then I realized that this whole situation was ridiculous.

I was getting more and more irritated for... a book.

I didn't like it, it wasn't me, I didn't recognize myself, and it wasn't the person I wanted to be either.

Side effects

Apart from this ridiculous book story, this friend was someone I liked.

Plus, she was a co-worker.

I did not want in any way to have problems with her that could then escalate and compromise my position within the company where we both worked.

So, I decided that the next time I would go downtown, I would buy this book again. And the problem would be solved.

I thought that she could keep the book. I offered it to her with my best wishes.

Unburdened

In my head, the 30 dollars for the book were already spent and I felt completely liberated.

Besides, what was 30 dollars compared to the salary I was earning?

The next day, when I ran into my colleague, I gave her a huge smile.

Not by provocation, but a sincere smile, because I felt relieved of a burden.

From then on, I could enjoy our friendship again.

And guess what... the next morning she brought me the book back.

Sometimes it's better to let go than hold on

Sometimes it's better to let go than hold on.

Letting go allowed me to put things into perspective.

This experience also taught me that I should not let the behavior of others influence my own.

As the Dalai Lama says: “Someone else’s actions should not determine your response.”

When we let go, we send a message to the universe that we have understood the lesson we were supposed to learn.

The universe than does the rest and unblocks the situation.