Skills Over Pills

When I was a teenager I went through a period in my life where I was sure this world had nothing to offer worth sticking around to experience. I cut myself and tried to overdose on over the counter meds. I would refuse to eat or drink for days at a time. My dad did what any good parent would do, he took me to a doctor and then a therapist.

At the mental health intake they went over the process, walking me through what was about to happen. First I would have a physical, then a mental evaluation, and then off to the in house doctor to see about any meds they might reccommend. We went back twice a week for about six months before I decided I was not going back, it didn't matter what my dad threatened, I was done. In that six months I was given five medications, none of which made anything better. In fact the side effects from the pills were worse than the issues they treated. I mean who needs a virgin in horny hyper-drive? It was awful and I was a mess. It was time to put ,my tiny little foot down in protest. I may be 4'11" but when I go off, the whole dynomite in small packages theory gets validated.

My father, desperate to make me better, decided he would make me a deal I wasn't allowed to refuse. If he found me a counselor that felt as strongly against the meds as I did, I would go. If I refused he would hospitalize me indefinitely! I obviously agreed. The hunt was on. An obvious goose chase, an assumption I made naively. At the time, my know it all attitude prevented me from even entertaining the thought that I could be cured by anything as simple as conversation. They didn't know who they were dealing with, I was going to eat them alive, and use their bones to pick the locks on my way out. Well that was my prediction. As it turns out, clairvoyance was not my super power.

I quickly realized that these people were far from new at this. They had obviously met hundreds of kids just like me, and learned from the experiences. It became obvioius my problems were not so uncommon. Turns out tons of kids struggled with the same issues, some with things I was unable to fathom until much later in life. My pity party was over almost as soon as it had started. I suddenly had a new perspective of what one could catagorize as a problem, versus what would be better labled as an inconvienence. My issues had been mere inconvienences for the most part. There were a few experiences I would wish upon no one, but overall I was just being a spoiled brat.

Not to say I didn't have any issues that could be labeled clinical mental disorders, bi-polar, depression, and anxiety. All of which I can proudly say I have managed without meds for the last 20 plus years. That was only possible with the help of my "emotional toolbox". My counselor and I, over the course of a year or so, came up with stratagies for all my forseeable emotional struggles. I learned how to calm my anxiety, recognize depressive feelings early on, journaling to map out my more complicated hardships. I could go on and on listing the different things we did that year. Considering it was almost 25 years ago I would have to say that my ability to recall the list at all is a testament to it't signifigance. I dont remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, I remember the coping skills because I have consistantly used them througout my life. And if you know anything about the majority of my adult life up until now you can appreciate how important having these was to survive.

If you are struggling to cope with the stresses of life, find someone you click with and talk. Talk about everything until you run out of words. The answer is in learning about you and how your mind works. Find what works for you and apply it to different situations as you can. Stockpile that toolbox and watch life get a little bit easier each time.

There are millions of opinions in the world, this one is mine.

Peace Love and Legos