Sex addiction, gaming addiction, mobile phone addiction...why are you addicted? How to quit addiction?

However the facts are as follows:

①From a physiological point of view, "the process of becoming addicted to something" is the same as "the process of acquiring a certain ability";

② "Addiction" does not mean "pleasure", nor does it mean "continuity of pleasure". The process of addiction is accompanied by the generation and disappearance of pleasure;

③, "addiction" is not "obsessive-compulsive disorder", no one or something forces us to do something continuously, it is a state of brain balance, addiction withdrawal is a process of rebalancing, and it is also an extremely difficult process.

④Once you become addicted, you will become addicted for life, and you cannot get rid of any addiction once and for all.

(1) How do we become addicted?

Mobile phone addiction, game addiction, tobacco addiction, alcohol addiction, card addiction... These are all common addictions we have. In this world, there are many addictions that we may not know about and may avoid talking about. Such as masturbation, porn, sex addiction, even fetishes, transvestites...and self-mutilation, etc...

Maybe you are worried about the unstoppable tobacco and alcohol, and the unstoppable gambling; maybe, you can’t stop masturbating, watching pornography, even if your body is getting worse; maybe you have a little-known addiction hidden in your heart, but you don’t Admit it...there is a very simple model of the addiction process to test whether you are addicted:

you are only trying it out of compulsion or curiosity;

Later, even if you know there will be bad consequences, you continue to do so;

unable to control oneself so;

desire so;

So, if you're sure you've become addicted to something or something, how should you deal with it?

As I mentioned before, many people fail to learn efficiently, not because they don't have a good method; on the contrary, they just focus too much on methodology and ignore the most basic things in learning: yourself, and the object of learning. It's the same phenomenon for people trying to get out of addiction - people tend to focus too much on finding ways to get out of it, and they never really know what "addiction" is, and never really know themselves.

For example, what is "addiction"? How did it come about?

(2) Coolidge effect

Scientists initially used rats to do such an experiment: 4 or 5 female mice in estrus and 1 male mouse were kept in the same closed box. Males mate with all females at once until they are exhausted. At this time, the female mice will continue to court the male mice, but the male mice are almost motionless. But as soon as the scientists put the new female mice into the box, the males immediately became energetic and began mating with the new females.

Afterwards, the males slumped again until new females were put in again. If this experiment continues, I don't know if the male mice will die from exhaustion.

This experiment is called the Coolidge effect.

Some researchers have also investigated whether the Coolidge effect can be the same in female animals, and the result is positive. Only to a lower degree than males.

So the explanation for the Coolidge effect is that both male and female animals exhibit persistent, high-pitched sexual behavior if a new fertile partner is introduced.

What causes the Coolidge effect? The secretion of dopamine and its effect on the limbic system.

Why do we have ideas? Why do you feel it? Where do the seven emotions and six desires come from? Why do body parts act at our command? This comes from the hundreds of billions of nerve cells in the brain that communicate with each other. Nerve cells are connected by synapses, and the gaps between synapses are transmitted by chemicals called "neurotransmitters". Dopamine is one of those neurotransmitters.

For the mice in the test, when the female mouse in estrus is put in, the secretion of dopamine is stimulated, and the impulse to mate is generated; and after the mating behavior is completed, the secretion of dopamine decreases. At this point, the male rat loses the desire to mate. This is why men have a period of refractory period after intercourse.

(3) Some of our genes evolve very slowly

Humanity has a history of more than 3 million years, and it was only 10,000 years when human beings entered farming civilization, and it was only a few decades before entering modern life like today. Our genetic evolution is nothing compared to the changes in modern technology.

For the animal attributes of human beings, we need to pass on genes to the next generation through survival and reproduction to ensure the continuation of the race, so that even if human beings have such a rich imagination, they have constructed various virtual realities outside the real world. , we are still unable to compete with primitive animality, and this mechanism continues.

To survive and reproduce, we need food, sex, love, curiosity... so the brain will always tell you by secreting a certain amount of dopamine when it deems appropriate, you need food, you need to mate, you need love, you need to learn , you need to avoid danger... The more dopamine you release, the more you crave something.

Another scary but funny thing is that every time we encounter something new, dopamine levels go up dramatically. A new toy, a new cell phone, a new travel destination, and everything else stimulates a surge of dopamine. This can explain why some people like to constantly open the door to new worlds during sex, such as role-playing, bondage, SM, and even develop into a terrifying ice love; for example, why some people are addicted to masturbation may also be accompanied by Certain fetishes, and even, various other untold explorations.

Of course, when a large amount of dopamine is secreted, it is followed by a large decrease in dopamine after the stimulus is satisfied. This also explains the Coolidge effect - the urge to reproduce immediately after mating sees the newly introduced rat. With that comes the brain's desire for more dopamine.

At this point, you should be able to understand that mobile phones, like computers, are just carriers of some stimuli. It is not the mobile phone that needs to be quit, but the stimuli themselves. There may be indescribable pictures and videos hidden in your phone, there may be one or more people who make you feel happy when you chat, there may be some mobile games, some entertainment gossip, some late-night stories...

(4) What is the process of addiction?

When we receive new stimuli, dopamine increases sharply, until through a certain behavior, to satisfy this stimulus, dopamine drops sharply again. At this time, we need more stimulation to satisfy this "hunger", and this process loops back and forth, causing us to be numb to the whole process, a phenomenon called "desensitization."

On this basis, once a corresponding or similar stimulus appears, we will be more sensitive than others, because the brain tells us that it can satisfy us. This circuit is like the continuous strengthening of synaptic connections between neurons in the learning process, forming an irresistible super memory. This phenomenon is called "sensitization."

During constant stimulation, desensitization, and sensitization, our prefrontal lobes (the part of our brain that have evolved differently from animals) degenerate and ultimately lose control of our behavior. Even due to a series of chain reactions, we will have symptoms such as mental disorders, nervousness, neurasthenia, and inability to control ourselves.

"Addiction" is formed here.

However, how should we solve it?

(5) What is the essence of addiction withdrawal?

In theory, we should make the "sensitization response" less sensitive, reduce the stimulation, and increase control, which is to restore the degenerated prefrontal cortex of the brain.

In practice, many people have completed this process through cognition and training under the guidance of professional therapists, so as to get rid of the clutches of "addiction", while some people do not.

The scary truth is that once you become addicted, you become addicted for life. Just as a learning process takes shape. Acquired behaviors are difficult to change through the continuous strengthening of neuronal synapses in the brain. The formed addiction circuit is thick and tenacious, like a highway, opening a convenient channel for every temptation. Therefore, in theory, "addiction" cannot be really quit. Tobacco addiction, alcohol addiction, sex addiction, drug addiction, addiction as we know it.

So why do many people who seem to have successfully quit addiction eventually return to the devil's barrier of addiction, unable to extricate themselves.

If you are about to try an addiction, think twice; and if you already have an addiction, we should clearly recognize the existence of the principle itself. Only by building self-control and deliberately weakening the addiction circuit can you escape the cycle.

(6) How to get rid of mobile phone addiction?

This question is divided into two parts:

First of all, if in Part 1 you are sure that you are not addicted, then there is no such thing as quitting. What you need to do is start from yourself and do something specific:

First, let go of your cell phone vigilance, just as Socrates was worried that young people would stop dictating and turn to writing with a pen, which he claimed would make people stop using their memory; just as people worried in the last century The advent of television has turned people into nerds who don't want to think; cell phones are just a product of an era.

Second, delete the apps you don’t use frequently on your phone. How to define? If you think it might be useful, it generally won't. Just delete it. The so-called inconvenience is just an excuse for being spoiled by modern life;

Third, if you must keep certain apps or accounts, try all means to prevent them from negatively affecting you, such as malicious pushes and spam ads. Turn off what can be turned off as much as possible, and shield what can be shielded as much as possible. Don't be afraid to miss out on information, generally speaking, you're not as important or as urgent as you think.

Secondly, if you are sure that you have a mobile phone addiction, as we have just said, mobile phones, like computers, are just carriers of some stimuli. It is not the mobile phone that needs to be quit, but the stimuli themselves.

Whether you are addicted to indescribable adult movies, or social media, or some learning platforms (yes, some so-called learning is just a waste of time to relieve anxiety and pay IQ taxes), please refer to The above part, what is the essence of addiction withdrawal.

Here again:

In theory, we should make the "sensitization response" less sensitive, reduce the stimulation, and increase control, which is to restore the degenerated prefrontal cortex of the brain.

In practice, many people have completed this process through cognition and training under the guidance of professional therapists, so as to get rid of the clutches of "addiction", while some people do not.

In the topics we posted, some answers can confirm this: because I went to the mountains, the signal is not good; because the mobile phone is broken, I have not changed it; because I need to take an exam, I force myself not to bring my mobile phone; try to close the circle of friends for a while, When I open it again, I don't have the desire to brush too much...

These are all good methods, but once you start over and continue your bad habits, it's all in vain. Is there a way to do it once and for all?

No.

Rehabilitation is a process of rebalancing the brain, which is difficult and never done once and for all.

There is nothing in this world that can be done once and for all, if you think there is, you are just spoiled by life.

Those who are spoiled by life will be defeated by life sooner or later.