Season 1

"So many guys want to date me right now," I said aloud to the room as a not so truthful brag to my girlfriends at the Pre (which we all used as a slang short-term for pre-drink or pre-bar party), after checking Snapchat and seeing the usual names wondering what bar I'm going to tonight in response to my story reel. It was mostly true anyway, these boys were at least more consistent than some others.

I say not so truthful though, because I knew as well as my friends did what those boys really wanted, and it was always just a little less romantic than the fairytales we're told as kids. But, man oh man, was I hopeless... I mean, a hopeless romantic. I had my introduction to heartbreak already, don't get me wrong... and I was still convinced that this was how love works. You play and flirt to make sure you have similar personalities and interests, and then if all goes well, you fall in love, right? Sadly, it was always just a guess for me, though. It's not like I had my parents to ask about this kind of stuff, they had their own problems to worry about, and they struggled enough to stay together as long as they did; I wasn't sure their advice would be very helpful anyway.

"How many?" he challenged from the couch where he was sitting with Dani's current boyfriend and the girl "friend" he arrived with. Shit, kind of forgot we weren't the usual "single girls" group since Chris started inserting himself into Dani's love equation. They'd done the playing and flirting and were now well on their way to love it seemed. She was hosting the Pre, and they basically lived together already (both economically driven, it just made more sense financially to them, I suppose), so of course, he invited some of his friends to join the fun. I'm usually in full support of "the more the merrier" type of socializing. But, I'd met this particular friend already, and he always seemed to enjoy pushing people's boundaries and doing the unexpected. This kind of banter was intriguing to me though, and I have a tendency to be a bit brazen myself, so, challenge accepted.

"Well there's Jared, but he's not new, and Justin, but honestly he reminds me too much of an ex. But Sean and Alex have recently come into the picture so we'll have to see where those go. Not to mention my exes always take a while to let go, and I think Sam is still working on that." I finished with a teasing chuckle and glanced to Shay for confirmation that I didn't forget anyone.

"Don't forget Ben, he's still trying too," Shay added before gesturing to Chris' friend and finishing with "Why, you getting in line? Go ahead, take a number, my man." Shay was that protective best friend that teetered a little too close to possessive at times, and would sometimes show small signs of jealously when I started spending more time with a boy than her. Either way, she always had my back and cared about my happiness fiercely, which I always appreciated about her.

"Sounds like none of them want to date you if you ask me." He turned away and began speaking to the girl he had brought with him, who he introduced specifically as just a friend when they arrived. She was dressed a bit androgenous, but was friendly and chatty and fitting in well with our otherwise fairly feminine-dense friend group. I think he expected the conversation to end there, but suddenly I found myself already responding with one of my defensive, witty comebacks that my friends started identifying as my peculiar way of trying to flirt - And they aren't wrong about that.

"Yes, well, I think these guys are the type too terrified of vulnerability to actually court and date, but thanks for the insight.” I then copied his power move and immediately left to the kitchen to join those who were refilling drinks and snacking so I couldn't hear his response if he had one. But, when I looked to see if he had watched me leave, his eyes locked with mine and his expression was stern, even though there was a certain softness to his face. Might just have been the light hair and blue eyes, features that I didn't typically find attractive, but the darkness wasn't lost on him like it usually is on people with those light features. I gave him a playful smirk and he turned back to his friend.

"How's the foot holding up?" Shay asked, knowing I was wearing heels that night because the top of my foot hurt and I limped in flat shoes, but could walk fine on my tip-toes. "Don't feel a thing!" I said happily and confidently while standing up from the chair I was using at the kitchen table to demonstrate. “I might even be able to dance with a few more of these in me," I said raising the cranberry vodka drink I was currently finishing off. "Shotgun?" Shay suggested. "Ugh", I hated shotgunning, mostly because I hated beer, and that was mostly because I didn't tolerate the fizz well, not that I think anyone did, though.

"Here," I heard, with two beers and a car key being presented in front of us, encouragement for the shotgun. As I took one of the cans, I registered who was handing the supplies over and without thinking (not much thinking was happening at this point in the night anyway), I blurted out, "Shotgun Prince Charming? Wow, romance really isn't dead..." in my best sarcasm possible, and finished with an exaggerated, eyes-closed, wide grin, "Thanks, Jake."

Just as a poked the hole in the can and was positioning to pop the top, the signalling "CABS ARE HERE" call began ringing through the room and everyone started chaotically finishing drinks/snacks, using the washroom and getting coats and purses. I struggled through a terrible attempt at “chugging” the rest of the can before joining in the rush. I was a bit of a "Mom" friend and usually stuck around with the host until the last cab to make sure the place isn't too wrecked for when they come back. So, Dani, Shay, Chris and I cabbed together. You never know once you get to the agreed upon bar after a Pre, who will actually show up and who will make a last minute decision to go somewhere else while commuting. This always added an element of surprise to being the last ones to find the group in the line. Not surprisingly this time, the group stayed fully in tact, it was Dani's birthday after all.

Dani, Shay and I started chattering in the line like girls do. Using large movements and loud laughs to draw eyes towards us and grab the interest of the others in line to prime for some decent socializing once in the building. “Who do you think will buy her a drink first?” Shay asked Dani while gesturing to me, in a bit of that jealous tone she used when I got male attention around her, “I think Jake’s after her tonight.”

“Oh, Jess, please be careful with that. He was living with Chris for a bit when we first started talking and he had a different girl every day of the week…” Dani said with her most earnest, sweet-girl warning tone.

“Oh, really? That sounds hard to keep up…” I responded with genuine curiosity to how he maintained that kind of lifestyle. “No, you don’t get it, he’s pretty complex, I don’t know him well enough to tell you to stay away, but just be careful, please.” Dani was so gentle and kind to everyone she met, her warnings were always from a good place and something to heavily consider. But for some reason, the curiosity about him just kept growing the more she revealed.

Who is this guy? Forget about red flags, he seemed to have a full-on “hazardous material” warning attached to him. And now, in hindsight, let me just tell you, poison awareness in grade school did not prepare me for the kind of toxicity that can come from a person.