Pain

I smile through it all, most do not know I am in pain. Ever since I was little I have felt pain. Growing up I felt severe growing pains, so much so that I slept the majority of my youth. As I got older, emotional pain was introduced, in the form of loved ones lost. Continuing on, I had pain in the medical feild. Both ACL's replaced, a menisucus repalcement, and patella adjustment on my right knee. Herniated discs in my vertebra. Pain from being overweight, trying every diet, every pill, and even going as far as surgery. I have not let one of these incidences slow me down for longer than to heal. I have continued to make people laugh throughout it all. I am currently experiencing plantar fasciitis in both of my feet with bone spurs in my heels. I am sad to say, it is wearing me down more than usual. When it feels like you are walking on a swollen bruise with a nail at its center, jamming deep with every step. It becomes hard to be other people's light and laughter. The challenge is to pretend the pain isn't there. That it does not exist at all, I know every single person is fighting their own battles. Because I know that, I try to not share my pain. I try to live through it and continue on. I recently had to quit my job because of my pain. I have been in the "stand on your feet all day" industry since my first job. I am trying to transfer into an industry I have no knowledge of. I worry I might not find what I need to survive my day-to-day. I recently found a job I actually enjoy greatly, it has amazing energy inside the office, as well as out in the field. I worked 7 days at that job, striving to forge past the pain in my feet. This last Saturday, I was virtually bedridden. Nearly passing out on my way to the kitchen from the pain. I am doing everything the doctors and physical therapists have told me to do, including taking the prescribed medication (which I HATE to do). Still, I found myself nearly passing out on the floor from pain. This morning (Monday) I went in to talk to the Head of the office, an amazing man. I let him know about my pain and what happened over the weekend. I asked if there was any possible position inside the office I could do. He said, "I don't have anything yet, but I would love to have you and your energy in the office. Let me see what I can do." And with those few sentences, my faith in humanity was restored. He listened to my problems and is trying to create a solution. That is what society needs more of, how we all should react. I am still stressed out about my finances and am doing everything I can to make sure my car payment, rent, electric, and internet get paid. Having negative $5 in my checking and $0 in my savings accounts, I am driving for food delivery services while I wait for a position to either be made or come available. I fight hard every day, just trying to ensure I have everything covered. I struggle, just like the rest of you, daily. Fighting some unknown source, fearing we won't make the necessities. Fearing the pain will not go away. Even if the pain is a permanent fixture in your life... you can fight to overcome its power over you. Fight to make just ONE person smile. Fight to make just ONE person laugh. It truely only takes one positive incident to change a person's entire day. Will you be that person? Will you change a life today?