Pain

I sometimes wonder why they call them pain pills, it NEVER fully kills the pain, it only numbs it temporarily.

After a few hours, give or take, it resurfaces. This time it has returned with a vengance stronger than the last time. Ingest one more pill, that should definitely get the job done. Except it does not.

Never killing the pain, it only kills your sense of reality, and replacing them with much worse memories. Kills your pride, kills your life, kills the real you that has been drowning on the inside from pain.

The high is a short escape from reality. It reminds you of being a child on a rollercoaster at your local fair. It is so much fun when your way up high looking down at everything below, but when the ride stops the adrenaline has vanished.

You stare at an empty house, hoping to fill the void with a high that ends low.

Placing the blame on others has always been an easy route, you blame whoever introduced you to the painpills. You fault the pharmacist, blaming anyone to make yourself feel better.

The description, and dosage amount printed perfectly on those bulls**t stickers should be worded a bit different.

Patient Name- “Whoever feels like consuming the product”

Dosage- When your eyes open in the morning, before eating breakfast consume one pill instantly. Coffee is always suggested as well. For lunch do not eat heavy, now take 1 and a half because your day is going crappy already. If you begin to lose track of time, just finish your night with a random odd number just to close your night out strong.

Side Effects - You will become emotionally numb to life, you slowly become addicted, you lose your grip on reality, friends, and family may also abandon you. Your life just basically goes down the drain after consumption.

The pain is still there, yet it has only become intensified, and you are no longer struggling with the pain psychically it grows to become mentally, and spiritually as well.

Your mind is screaming at you from the inside that you need the pills to function, your body is telling you that you will become sick without them, and your spirit is fighting with you mentally.

Who wins the battle ?

Here I stand, half dead, and all I can think about is my next dose.

The pill bottle is practically empty, and you are exhausted, and nauseous on the inside. Your body has slowly become addicted, but if you skip a dose, your psychically ill. So you ingest more, just to fight the urge of lying in bed all day. Now it has become a regular activity just like brushing your teeth

You feel a sense of relief, because you swore this would be the last pill you ever consumed.

Hiding away inside your closet, on your knees, your begging, and pleading with the demons inside of you to please let go of your mind.

You crave normalcy, and a piece of mind for peace inside.

Yet here you are still fighting those same demons that promised to take the pain away.

You wake up, it’s cold. Everything is moving in slow motion like you are in a dream. You hear slight beeping from a machine next to you, you make an attempt to speak, but words never escape your lips.

Nurses, and family members slowly enter the hospital room , and inform you that you almost lost your life to an overdose. You realize you can’t speak because of the tubes in your mouth.

So all you can do is stare into space, and cry.

Not tears of sadness, tears of relief.

The demons that befriended you, and promised to remove the pain where finally gone. You where strong enough to kill them once, and for all.

You did not die, you survived, you only overdosed the demons inside of your soul.

You can not fight fire with fire, you can not fight pain with pain, you can only fight the demons inside of your soul .