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Most of a person's pain comes from living in their world

How to say goodbye to pain, remember three points

By Tony C LustigPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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In the movie "Piano at Sea", we see that the pianist who played so beautifully did not come to the ground to play the piano after all.

He had been used to the rhythm of playing the piano at sea for many years, so he felt particularly at a loss in the face of the unfamiliar land. This is true for pianists, and even more so for us ordinary people.

Most people are used to their way of thinking, which makes them feel at a loss and afraid in the face of the unfamiliar world. If we want to let ourselves say goodbye to pain, the best way is to see the truth of pain and share with you the three truths of pain, you will quickly understand pain.

Most pain comes from our internal perceived limitations

Many people who seem to be suffering on the surface have never understood themselves on a deeper level. What we think of as pain seems to be other people beating us down, but in reality, it may be that we don't accept ourselves enough on the inside.

So often the pain comes from our lack of acceptance of ourselves, and others are just a part of our lives that allow us to see ourselves.

We think that the pain is given to us by others, but in fact, it is precisely the pain that we do not accept ourselves enough, hiding many of our irrational perceptions.

When we are angry, we must learn to see the limiting perception within ourselves, and when we can see that perception and identify it, we will be very free inside.

For example, I used to have a big grievance against my parents, and I took it for granted that my parents were supposed to understand me, but I later found out that your parents don't always understand you because their perceptions are different from yours.

When one day I released my parents' way of loving me, I gradually found myself and understood better what I needed to do.

Facing our inner pain, we must go to understand what the source of the pain is, this is the root cause of our getting rid of the pain, moreover, the best start for us to embrace ourselves.

For more articles on self-growth and self-refinement, you can follow my column to help you rebuild your inner strong self in the complex jungle world from multiple dimensions such as mindset, thinking, habits, interpersonal relationships, and cognition.

Return to the inner self

Most of the pain we feel is caused by others, so we always hold on to the other person. Much of the reason why we think that someone else caused our suffering comes from the fact that we expect inside us that others are more or less the cause.

This expectation then becomes the source of our pain, and the more expectations we have, the greater our disappointment will be once the other person does not live up to our expectations.

Going back to ourselves is to see where the source of all the pain is, it may be our inner expectations at work, and if our expectations are low, often we become more open.

One woman has high expectations of her husband and always feels that her husband is not as good as others, that he is not good at work and not good at home, and this look of dislike and pain is not only hard on her but also her husband.

The truth is, everyone needs to grow up. We think that entering into a relationship seems like a happy outcome, while getting married may be the beginning of truly facing each other on the inside.

If you are fortunate enough to be married to someone with a mature mind, then marriage is still a good thing for each other, but if we are not mature enough because of our inner self it can cause our marriage to become very rocky.

The reason why marriage is the greatest place to practice on earth is that it tests not only your mind but also your understanding of the other half, if we lack understanding and tolerance of the other half, then it is difficult for us to be truly happy in the marriage.

The tolerance of the other half is the tolerance of their own, behind the tolerance is the acceptance of imperfection, and acceptance of the other half of imperfection is also the acceptance of imperfection in us.

The pain behind the pain is precise because we are too disrespectful of each other and the truth, too intent on making the other person love us the way we love ourselves, which is what makes marriage so painful.

Respect as it is

If we know how to respect the way we are in life, we can often reduce a lot of pain. Most of the pain is our inability to accept what is as it is. Especially the more black holes we have within us, the more we distort seeing things as they are and as they are.

So true growth is essentially seeing things as they are. When you know what they are, we may understand that often it's not other people's problems, it's what's wrong with us on the inside.

With a black hole inside, with a lack, we can't come to be ourselves. We will continue to fill ourselves with many things, but the bigger the black hole, the more needs there will be in our hearts, and this is the root of a person's work.

Most of the work comes from our desire to take, to prove whether we are worthy of love. But once we know how to get out of this script and understand that the pain comes from our desire to prove ourselves, and we are willing to let go and prove ourselves, we will be free inside.

The pain is our unwillingness to accept the truth, especially when we think about why the other person is treating us this way then perhaps you need to understand that the other person may also have a hurt person in their heart.

This is the essence of the so-called fate to be passed between, what we call eliminating karma is essentially reading other people's traumas, deeply understanding that others are the total of our destiny, we will know not to get involved in ourselves easily, and our life and destiny will become better and better.

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About the Creator

Tony C Lustig

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