Michael Phelps Is a "Homecoming Queen"

Yes, you read the title right. Clearly, Michael Phelps is not in high school and is not a lady. I use the description figuratively. . . . Read on and you will see.

While working out at the gym one morning, I saw Michael Phelps appear on the room’s TV screen with the Today Show crew. The most medaled Olympian in history is enough to draw one’s attention, but it was the headline on the bottom of the screen that really caught my eye: “Biles Puts Spotlight on Athletes and Mental Health.” Since mental illness has played such a dramatic role in my own life story, my radar is always on for discussions such as these. Biles had just announced her resignation from some Olympic events and cited her mental health as the reason.

Later that morning, as I ate breakfast, “Homecoming Queen?” by country music star Kelsea Ballerini played through a streaming service into my ear buds. Ballerini’s angelic voice and touching lyrics prompted a neural connection to the interview I had just watched--a high school homecoming queen and Michael Phelps. Makes sense, right?

Here’s the chorus:

But what if I told you the world wouldn’t end

If you started showing what’s under your skin

What if you let ‘em all in on the lie?

Even the homecoming queen cries

Phelps opened up about his mental health difficulties a few years ago and helped produce the 2020 HBO documentary The Weight of Gold. The film explores mental health challenges that Olympic athletes often face, and features the stories of several United States Olympians, including Lolo Jones, Shaun White, and Brode Miller. The film attempts to inspire discussion on mental health and to encourage individuals who may be struggling to reach out to readily available mental health resources.

In my opinion, Phelps is the equivalent of Ballerini’s “homecoming queen” for the entire United States of America. As a kid, I eagerly watched his every Olympic swimming event. I wondered, could he win yet another gold? Despite this fame and success, Phelps has let us all in on the lie: even he cries. Beyond crying, he revealed that his depression led to suicidal thoughts.

Like Michael Phelps, I am not a female and not in high school. But “Homecoming Queen?” has resonated with me since its 2019 release. While not a song you would typically associate with a 27-year-old guy, I always relate to the suffering (crying) of the outwardly successful queen.

Depression became a more invasive part of my life experience during my freshman year of high school. It was difficult to simply do life. I isolated myself from everyone except my family and did not socialize with my peers in school. Thoughts of hating my life started seeping into my thought processes. This illness added weight to the high levels of anxiety already present. My heart always felt like it was pounding, and I worried incessantly. These two illnesses escalated throughout high school; by junior year, suicidal thoughts joined the mix.

I suffered silently.

I did not like my life.

I did not like high school. Still to this day, I would never return to high school if given the opportunity to time travel.

The suffering was real despite my having one of the top GPAs in my class of 400 students and being a varsity athlete in basketball and soccer. The battle I fought daily against my depression and anxiety minimized my social life--my anxiety made me even more socially awkward than most males that age. When I was voted onto the prom court my senior year, my anxious and depressed brain told me that the votes were just a collective joke played on me.

Whereas outside indicators may have signaled success, on the inside, I was a mess.

Michael Phelps and Simone Biles both received a lot of criticism for opening up about their mental health difficulties and the challenges they faced. An NBC news article reporting on Biles’ critics reveals that she was called a “quitter” and a “national embarrassment” by some Americans.

In our age of social media, we did not need an NBC news article to alert us to critics of Biles’ decision. One could just peruse Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter to see a plethora of negative comments about Biles. English TV personality Piers Morgan said on Twitter, “Are ‘mental health issues’ now the go-to excuse for any poor performance in elite sport? What a joke. Just admit that you did badly, made mistakes, and will strive to do better next time. Kids need strong role models not this nonsense.”

In the caption of an instagram story showing her landing on her back after dismounting from the uneven bars, Biles responds to her critics: “For anyone saying I quit, I didn’t quit, my mind & body are simply not in sync as you can see here. I don’t think you realize how dangerous this is on hard/competition surface nor do I have to explain why I put health first.”

The two-time Olympian added, “Physical health is mental health.”

Viewers and fans put a lot of pressure on Olympic athletes. Those of us who sit and watch on our couches feel strong nationalistic pride to see our country win gold. After all, we go to our jobs and perform the duties assigned to us to the best of our abilities, so they should get their job done as well. We expect our Olympics athletes to compete and to win at all costs.

In his Today Show interview, Phelps was asked about the connection between having a duty to perform for one’s country and performing under pressure as an Olympic athlete. Phelps interjects, “But we are also humans, right?”

Olympic athletes.

People with mental illness.

Homecoming queens.

People without housing.

Prominent politicians.

Individuals with military experience.

Those with intellectual and/or physical disabilities.

We are ALL humans.

As someone who has suffered from severe mental illness for years, I thank Michael Phelps and Simone Biles for their courage in opening up this mental health conversation to the entire world. They are using their platform to increase awareness and advance the conversation.

And yet, the conversation can and needs to go deeper:

Into the brain.

Into science.

Into loving and caring for one another.

Michael Phelps or not, homecoming queen or not, we all cry, we all experience hardships in life, and we all have a brain. Let’s keep talking about mental health.