Methadone Heaven/Methadone Hell

Methadone. Life saver? Life Ruiner? I am a 13-year methadone user. For me, it has ruined my life and will probably kill me. But it wouldn't be the Methadone's fault. It would be mine. For being too afraid, too weak to try to come off.

I started Methadone in 2012 because I got addicted to opioids. Yup. I'm part of the group that ruined it for people. Now it devastates me. And on a personal level. Or probably BECAUSE it's on a personal level. My mother truly needs them. But because of idiots like me who used to doctor shop, fake injuries, or even give yourself an injury. Yeah. How sad. I traded away my very first shotgun my dad got me when I was 13. Deer hunting in Iowa. I traded away all my late grandfather's tools. Took out payday loans all over the place. Which had to borrow from my parents to pay back. But back to the why.

In 2009 I was going through a divorce with the mother of my two kids and my high-school sweetheart. At this time I also broke one of my ribs and cracked another. The doctor put me on Lortabs (Hydrocodone) and mix that with the 12 pk I drank on a mighty basis (because It opened me up to where I was actually fun to be around and helped me want to do stuff, even with the kids) and woah did it feel good. I quickly realized it took away emotional pain as well as physical. Hence the addiction began.

I went to the Methadone clinic to get off Lortabs. Yeah. I believe I traded a demon for the devil himself. See Methadone saves thousands of lives a year. People addicted to hardcore stuff...heroin, etc, can't function at all without it...Methadone is a lifesaver for those people. But for Lortabs? I wish I had someone to tell me hell no. I'd been through alot of withdrawals. They sucked. Lasted 3 or 4 days for me. I get heart Palpitations and it always made me nervous going through withdrawal. Then don't do em dummy huh. 🙄 I know. So I found Methadone.

Currently, I'm on 230 liquid milligrams of Methadone. I was on 260. Went dien 30. That doesn't seem like a lot. But for Methadone it is. But I have such a long way to go. I take it now for pain management from my diabetic neuropathy and small fiber neuropathy, which it's pain and burning on the body is similar to fibromyalgia. From what I've been told. Even dropping the 30 MG hurt.

I stay on Methadone for multiple reasons. 1) It helps with my body pain. Every day after I dose for about 6-8 hours I get the most body pain relief. Then it'll start burning. Patches all over my body. ALL OVER. Patches. Burn off and on all night. Right now, for example, I have an area on my right pectoral about the size of a men's wallet burning 🔥 【6/10】 on the pain scale. I have a patch about the siE of a quarter burning the chit outta my chin. Always feels like I'm standing in water. Or my feet wet. And I get sharp stabbing pain, burning pain, just pain on my feet and toes. 2) I'd be prob too scared to even if I didn't have neuropathy because of my heart Palpitations. That scares me a lot. If both of those things weren't an issue then I would try to get off it. I've heard the horror stories.

More studies most definitely need to be done on Methadone. I got a very deep depression. Or a weird kind. Like my mood completely changed in like seconds. Let's say mom calls and says "Wanna go to lunch" and at that time absolutely. I can't wait. Then 5 minutes later like the flip of a light switch I don't wanna do anything or talk to anyone. Then 5 minutes later I'm back too excited to go. It drives me crazy. My GP and I have tried 6 different depression/anxiety meds since 2019. Like real legit take 6 months try. And none of them worked. They all turned me into a mean evil kick my dog kind of person. Don't worry I didn't kick him. I would NEVER do such a thing. But it made it even cross my mind. So I immediately stopped taking them. Sox different meds, same feeling after 1 to 5 months. It HAS to be the Methadone affecting it. Has to be. We tried Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa, Prozac, Wellbutrin, and another one that stayed with an S I think. Reminded me of Symba (the lion) but I can't remember the name.

If you are taking Methadone and have developed this depression, there is a herb that was specifically made for Long term methadone users. It's called Vitadone. No, I'm not advertising or any of that chit. I'm giving advice. It works GREAT. The studies I've done on long-term methadone are It kills the good bacteria in your gut that make you happy. See I didn't know this but the brain stores its big reserves of serotonin and the other ones that make you happy in your gut. When the brain's reserves are low it sends a signal to your stomach to send more troops. Well, there are none of you've been on 'done for a while. Along with several other vitamins and minerals in the body, it kills. I promise you you will start feeling much better if you take them. But. Always a but. But but but.

But what about when you have taken the vitamins for a few years and you start feeling bad again? 🤔

I truly feel stuck. My neuropathy pain is just too much. I realize people think an addict's mind thinks id excuses why you don't have to quit. I never have considered myself a lifelong addict. I was addicted to a prescription drug for about 20 months. That's it. I have my medical marijuana card now. But I didn't even start smoking weed until 2019 after I tried a ton of stuff. KAVA KAVA, this other green shit they are trying to make illegal or have.

I started working out 5-6 days a week for 75 days. I did at least 1500 rowing but usually 3000M rowing and ride 10 miles on a recombinant bike. Because I can't stand or be on my feet very long.

Anyways. Thank you for taking the time to read about me. I truly appreciate it. 🙏 What are your experiences with methadone, if any. Or do you have any questions? ✌️❤️🤙