Mental Health First Aid

A plaster normally indicates that beneath it is some sort of trauma like me when I cut my head shaving but putting one on your head cannot cover up poor mental health. What are you meant to do, write on it instead with the words 'broken mind' emblazoned across it so that people get a clear message to give you a wide berth when they see you? From the outset let me be clear, I am not an expert just someone that speaks from experience. Your mood may give you away if it is out of the norm but a lot of the time our physical outward state does not indicate what is going on inside. It is okay to talk – easier said than done – right?

Are you okay?

When someone asks you if you are okay, I bet most of the time you will respond with 'OK Thanks' but on occasions you don't mean it. Try saying no next time if you mean it and wait for the reaction. I have done it and watched how fast someone can suddenly move on following a swift 'oh dear' or some short shrift. Rarely will you get someone genuinely interested enough to stop and listen – if they do, be prepared to open up but be wary of the gossip, can you trust them.

It is good to talk.

When you are in a particular state of mind you may not want to talk and this is okay too, but you need to get to a point where others around you understand this and give you the space you need instead of offering pearls of wisdom such as "in my day....", "you'll get over it", "grow some". The battle still goes on, you smile and move on but still hiding the distress in some way. By not talking about it can compound the issue but only you can break through that when you are ready. It worked for me (but I still have episodes) and hopefully one day it will for you if you are holding back. I did feel weak at first opening up to people, thinking they would think less of me and somehow inadequate but as it happens, I have been mostly happy with the reaction. In fact, I experienced a newfound respect from some people for sharing and in turn they have been able to express themselves in return.

Non-judgement

Some people will never understand, and these are the people you can choose not to have in your life. A compassionate person will feel sorry for you and tell you everything will be okay, a good listener, but often will never truly understand or choose to get involved with what is going on. The last thing you want is someone feeling sorry for you as this keeps you in a negative place. To get into a positive place you need someone with empathy (I consider this trait has a deeper intention) to talk to. They will not only listen and understand but share, they are normally selfless, which will help you realise you are not alone and can find a way of managing your mental health. Even if it is to sign-post you, sit with you, be there when you need them.

Find your safe space

I appreciate you cannot turn off who you see or have around you most of the time. It can be hard keeping a brave face on all the time (it is okay not to be okay), especially amongst your work colleagues or people you care not to be around (like family?) but find a way of managing your reaction to them without being disingenuous. I found my safe space (people I trust and can openly discuss these issues with) and have adopted practices to help me manage my mental health. What works for me may not work for you and that is what matters if it helps you feel calmer and less stressed. Yoga is a wonderful medicine and a simple meditation, sat crossed legged for 10 minutes grounds me. I can also get lost for hours crafting and making. If you ever find yourself in distress, pause, breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth three times…and relax.