Mental Health and Labels.

by Diana Murray 3 months ago in stigma

What’s “wrong” with you? By Diana Murray

Mental Health and Labels.

Have you ever wondered if you had a Mental Health Disorder?

Have you ever been prescribed anti-depressant medication because something felt off and you were desperate to “be normal”?

Maybe you saw a therapist who actually labelled you with a diagnosis based on a few one sided conversations?

Well, you’re no different to me. I’ve spend the last couple of years trying to figure out what box I fit in to. And after

Learning and experiencing a lot through reading, seeing therapists, examining my whole life and past and all the relationships I’ve ever had, I think I have gained some valuable knowledge that I should share with others.

Most recently, I’ve been reading reviews from people who have been doing something called EMDR therapy.

EMDR seems to be the new trendy therapy for dealing with the multiple “disorders” we label people with who are having a hard time in our insanely backwards society.

As far as I can tell, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing” 🤨is a technique used to help a person “process” traumatic memories and “desensitize ” from them.

Sound harmless. Easy. Why not?

But hold the phone!! Doesn’t the word desensitize kind of throw up a tiny red flag? And “reprocessing”?? Ummmmm

Are we human? Or are we a computer?

I’m NOT a psychologist or therapist.

I am not qualified to give advise on this. But - I am entitled to share my experience and opinion with other people so here are is what I have come up with.

“C-PTSD” is the label that I was told was most likely my main issue. (Actually, anyone could fit the criteria for this!).

Well, this sounded pretty serious. I spent thousands of dollars paying therapists - other human beings - to tell me what was wrong with me and advise me on how to change myself and my thoughts, views and values in order to be “successful” in the world we live in.

After a while, I think we all would like to have a “diagnosis” to explain away our misery so we can just get back to the grind and feel normal. Take the blame of ourself and fix the problem!

My problem was, I found out that I was way smarter (and more sane) than every single therapist I went to see!

And I tried 4 different ones.

Even though the experience of therapy did help me see that I am not actually the one with the problem, it also showed me that these trained professionals who I’m sure really do want to help their clients, don’t even realize they may be contributing to the problem that they are trying to fix.

Previous to EMDR, Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) was the big shot in the world of therapy, especially for this strange phenomenon of c-ptsd that so many seem to be afflicted with.

The interesting thing about C-PTSD is that most of the time, no traumatic experience can be found to attribute the symptoms to. I guess that’s what makes it “complex” haha.

I didn’t do CBT with a therapist, because as it turns out - I was a natural pro at it. I had already thought up everything and no therapist could give me anything else believable enough to trick myself.

By the time I got desperate enough to believe someone else may have had the solution to my problem, I had already been doing CBT on myself for many years. I just didn’t have a name for it. It got me through for quite a long time, holding on, alive and breathing, but it certainly wasn’t curative.

I’m pretty sure all it really is, is helping people to lie to themselves, to ignore their instincts, and come up with ideas that suit them so they can believe and do whatever they want to believe or do. Without having to feel anything. Really convincingly. Come up with many possible theories on why something is happening and choose one that you like best to avoid really dealing with the problem and allowing yourself to feel ok about your own willful blindness.

But how long can a person really do that before it all unravels? How much worse could that behaviour make their lives?

EMDR sounds like a different concept. It focussing on FEELINGS as opposed to THOUGHTS, like with CBT.

This is a way to trick our brains into NOT feeling our feelings, with the added bonus of also not having to THINK either!

Plus, not having to understand or face the reasons those feelings (and severely confused thoughts resulting from the CBT even exist. (whether the CBT was done naturally or with the help of a paid practitioner).

Not knowing isn’t something I enjoy.

I don’t believe “ignorance is bliss”.

I think not knowing, that uncertainty, can actually cause our imaginations to run wild, to think the absolute worst case scenario, often with a little mix of everything we have ever picked up on from films, tv, music and stories over our entire lives.

Trying to manage symptoms and ignoring the root cause of the problem sound like a stupid idea to me. (But - who am I?)

Not knowing or understanding what caused me to be “traumatized” was not something I could just accept. I think others would feel uncomfortable with this as well.

We tend to sensationalize. Especially when we have to do the things that we don’t like - THINKING and FEELING.

However, I wonder if it is those 2 things that are what separate us from other species?? Like animals and plants. From objects. From rocks!?

It’s like anxiety.

Anxiety is the feeling of anticipation of an event that may or may not happen. If it is over something that is actually coming up, like taking a flight or giving a speach - the anxiety usually eases significantly shortly before or during and the reality is never as bad as the dread leading up to it.

What I’m saying is - Reality is often so much less dramatic than we, in our minds often imagine.

Truth, can be dealt with.

The truth can be properly processed.

Once and for all.

Lies cannot be processed.

They can only be hidden.

What’s the solution?

I have no clue. But I’m hoping talking about it may lead us closer to something better than the crap we’ve been paying for out of sheer dumbfounded desperation.

I’m going to take a shot and hypothesize that whatever the solution is, it includes incorporating our thoughts and our feelings - not repressing them.

Now with this added trend of not allowing for real communication or human to human physical touch, what are we heading towards??

Nothing good! Somethings gotta give....

Thanks for reading!

** If you enjoy my writing, please have a look at some of my other posts as well.

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Diana Murray
Diana Murray
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