We all feel anxious about something, or certain situations; an exam, going on a trip somewhere on your own for the first time, asking someone to go on a date with you. It's all different for everyone. Things that I might find easy, you may find difficult, and vice versa. But for some people, like me, almost everything makes me anxious, even things that I have done a million times before. But I'm fighting it, and if you're like me, hopefully you're fighting it too. It’s hard to be living everyday afraid and/or worried about a lot of things! We’re literally living in fear!
Just to paint a picture for you before anything else, here are some of the few things that most people find easy, but that make me feel extremely anxious:
- Entering a store: I rarely ever go shopping for clothes by myself, unless I know exactly what I want to buy and I am 100 percent sure that it is available! This is because, as silly as it sounds, staff members approaching me to offer their assistance makes me extremely anxious! There have been times where I am about to buy something, but instead I end up leaving with nothing except slight regret, wishing that what I want would still be there when I get the courage to buy it, or when I go shopping with my family! And then there’s also the worry that I must have seemed so rude for leaving so abruptly after being approached by the staff member!
- Ordering food: Honestly, whenever I eat out with friends or family, I always ask them to order for me. I even make sure that they know exactly what I want, because the thought or actually being asked by them to confirm my order in front of the waiter/waitress makes me so nervous!
- Talking to people who know members of my family: I go to church twice a week, and because of my anxiety I rarely talk to people apart from family members or those that I have previously talked to and have known for a while. But there are the occasional new people that I have to interact with that start the first two minutes of the conversation with me saying "I know your sister" or "I know your dad," and I just do not know how to respond to them or what to say! All of my family members seem to be so good with people socially, and I get so worried they expect the same out of me, and when it doesn’t happen, I just look mean!
Anyway, I think, or at least I hope, I’m getting better at “fighting” these fears, because I really don’t want to be like this forever. Here are some of the things that I do that I hope would help you too!
- Communication: it used to worry me whenever I admitted how I felt to people with me (i.e. family and friends), but now I realize it’s really helpful! Because they are aware of my anxiety, they encourage me to fight it, and yes sometimes it feels like they’re pressuring me, and maybe they are, but it helps. There are times where it leads to a fight, because it becomes too much, however, in the long run, the “it’s my turn to order next time” really happens!
- Taking a deep breath whenever I see a staff member/waiter/waitress/stranger come talk to me; I take a deep breath and imagine myself being “emotionally prepared” to converse. When they finally reach me, I focus on what they are saying, take a deep breath to process my thoughts, and then reply to whatever it is they’re saying!
- Acknowledge that you have made progress! This is important, because if you have done it before then you can do it again!
I truly hope this helps you if you get so much anxiety like me or at least like I used to, or I hope this helps you understand how we feel and/or how to help us if you know someone like me!
About the Creator
The secret journey to regaining emotional stability
Do you feel that the anxious and avoidant types both seem to be strong and independent, but in fact they are sensitive and fragile. They often fall into emotions because of small things and start to be anxious and avoidant? If anxious and avoidant types want to change these, what they actually need is to compensate for their missing parts and heal their injured parts. In this issue, we will teach the avoidant and anxious types how to cultivate themselves again, making their emotions more stable, more rational in relationships, and at the same time gaining the ability to actively output emotional value. If anxious and avoidant types want to overcome the sensitive and fragile parts of themselves and obtain stable emotions, they need not only cognitive adjustments, but also need to heal the traumatized parts of themselves and compensate for the regretful parts of themselves. For example, the regret of the avoidant type is that they have not been paid serious attention to and have never truly rebelled. Therefore, the avoidant type will not fight for their own needs in many situations, resulting in uncomfortable situations and relationships, and they are always running away and wandering. The trauma of the anxious type is that they are trapped in unstable relationships and have been hurt by the instability in intimate relationships. The slightest fluctuation will make the anxious type feel nervous and anxious. Therefore, anxious and avoidant types are inherently fragile, sensitive, and unstable. In summary, these reasons are that something is missing during the growth stage, or they have suffered some trauma, so if you want to solve these problems, this is the time. Compensate when you need to compensate, heal when you need to heal, exercise when you need to exercise, just treat yourself as a child and raise yourself again. If the avoidant and anxious types re-train themselves, what kind of growth can they gain? First of all, emotions will become more and more stable. For example, you can be aware of your emotions at the first time, avoid emotions from affecting your thoughts and judgments, and learn to regulate your emotions. Secondly, you can truly understand yourself and know your real needs and fears. In the process of re-nurturing yourself, you can clearly understand your needs and fears, that is, you can know why you are attracted to a certain person, why you behave like this, and then you can better understand what you need.
By angelababya day ago in Psyche
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