Like, or don't like.

I like singing. 

No, I only like singing the songs I like. 

I like watching dramas. 

No, I only like watching the dramas I like. 

I like — no, we only like what we like. 

“Duh”

“What do you mean you’ll like something you don’t like?”

“The human brain releases these chemicals called dopamine that —“ 

Yeah, let’s stop there, I don’t actually know the science-y details.  

What I know is that likes can change — same as how change is the only constant. So the only ever correct claim one can say about what they like is that, they like what they like. 

What do you like? What do I like?

What do we not like? 

I actually Googled this, and apparently the most universally disliked thing is… loud chewing. Interesting. Imagine we are in a world of starvation and food scarcity. Would this still be the most universally disliked thing? I would dare argue that if anyone in that hypothetical world hears loud chewing, the first thing they are going to do is run towards it, in hopes that they can be the next one doing that loud chewing. 

Anyways, back to the topic. Are we not being true to ourselves? Or are we being too true to ourselves? 

Actually, for me, it has never been particularly hard to admit what I like, or what I don’t like. 

“You like that? Eww, how can you?” 

“You don’t like that? That’s so…”

If you are hearing this, that is not the right crowd for you. Leave.

We don’t like what we don’t like. 

But what has been hard for me, is finding what I truly like and not like — actually, more of what I like, because it’s honestly quite obvious to me when I don’t like something. 

The vibes. You can tell from the vibes. 

Yeah, kind of. But my ‘like’ fades… And sometimes, I don’t even know if I actually ever liked it. Like, I like watching dramas, but I have so so many dramas that I watched and didn’t even get past the first episode. And of course, whenever I am watching dramas, I am multi-tasking and playing Hay Day at the same time… So do I actually like watching dramas, or do I just like slacking and doing nothing while doing something? 

The same might just apply to my writing. Do I really like writing? How long am I going to keep liking this? 

It scares me sometimes to think that I actually don’t truly have a passion for anything in this world. It’s like I’m living it and experiencing all of these things from a sat-back point of view. But yet again, who dictated and said that it’s a must to have something you are passionate about in this world? Why can’t we just be indifferent about everything? Hmm, wait, then maybe your passion is being indifferent? No, but what if I just want to be indifferent about being indifferent? 

A ‘like’ always seems to be conditional — as if there’s an invisible list of “Terms and Conditions” that you hastily clicked "Agree" to, but actually didn’t know the details to. 

That being said, I do know something I really like — food. I like salmon. I like dark chocolate (100% dark chocolate, by the way). I like korean fried chicken. I like…

But if you’ve read my previous entry “Know, or don’t know”, you would know I have had my struggles with food as well. I can’t lie, even till today it’s not 100% healed, but we are getting there. Hopefully. 

Why does everything always have a catch… 

But I do know that there is this one ‘like’.  

One where, when they say, “I like you”, they don’t mean, “I only like you when you’re the version of you I like.”

They mean, "I like you, any you."