I Value My Alone Time; So Should You

Lonely. When you Google images for the word “lonely” you’ll see dark, somber images of someone in solitary; often with the person reaching for someone else. The person often looks sad, frustrated, and miserable.

However, when you Google pictures of people by themsleves, you won’t find images of people enjoying solitude in a park, doing reflection, or enjoying other activities.

That’s because as a society, we have demonized and stigmatized the word “lonely” or people who don’t spend as much time around other people. This needs to stop.

When we were younger, we often forced ourselves to be around people even if they hurt us, didn’t click with us, or if we didn’t enjoy their company. This has led to many awkward interactions, broken friendships, and no personal development from healthy social interaction. Surrounding ourselves with people just so we’re not alone is the same thing as wearing an extra pair of thin socks in Antarctica; it won’t really do anything. After all, no company really is better than bad company.

The problem with this practice is that it makes us scared of being by ourselves. We refuse to believe that there isn’t something wrong with us and makes us feel bad for ourselves if we are by ourselves.

As soon as we confront the idea of loneliness and what it really means head on, there is a huge opportunity for self growth.

See, when there isn’t anyone with us, we aren’t really alone. Our minds, ideas, and thoughts, hold so much to discover about ourselves. Within ourselves, we could discover whole new “people”. Our company isn’t boring at all; by spending time with ourselves we discover new things about ourselves we might never have learned at all! For example, you could absolutely hate the taste of coffee, but you never realized it since every time you’ve drunk it you’ve been in a social setting so you never paid any true attention to the taste of your coffee.

Being by ourselves can lead to so many doors of self-growth and personal development. With no one to influence our thoughts, what we think when we are by ourselves truly shapes who we are. Being by yourself is a great way to reflect on your life and find ways to lead a happier and more successful life. When in the presence of others, we tend to “people please”. We say the things we know will please others and mold our opinions to conform to the majority. By being by ourselves, we find out who we truly are; unapologetically and unfiltered. Knowing this information is essential so we can start living life true to who we are.

Finally, we need to stop viewing being by ourselves as a “last resort” or an unfortunate situation. Being by yourself is the time where we can kick back, take off the mask we present to the rest of our world, and enjoy peace and quiet and appreciate the inner workings of ourselves. This can be done on a jog, while watching Netflix, or drinking a cup of tea. I have discovered so many interesting things about myself and enjoyed so much time by myself. I have discovered that being myself has become not something that happened to me, but something I seek out. By getting over that initial hesitancy of being by myself, being by myself is something I now really enjoy and look forward to spending time by myself. Who knows what I’ll discover about myself when I’m alone. It’s really thrilling knowing that you only the surface of yourself and that your inner self is waiting to be explored.