I Thought My ADHD Son’s Behaviours Were Normal

When my son was first going through the diagnostic process for ADHD and ASD, I was seeing a lot of myself in the responses on his assessment paperwork. In places where I was marking him as moderately affected, I was mentally marking myself as highly.

I mentioned this to his psychologist at the time, and she laughed and dismissed it, saying that when she was in school they warned them they will always be able to find themselves in tests and to not put too much stock into that.

I really wish that she had at least told me at that point that there was a chance that if my son was ADHD and ASD, that it could run in the family, and probably did run in the family. And as it turns out, it did. He definitely got it from me.

A few months after he was diagnosed, I was pursuing my own diagnosis of both ADHD and ASD. It’s difficult to know what information to believe and what to research further when you are looking into a new medical condition that your child has, especially one like ADHD.

There is still this massive discord between people about whether it’s just being lazy or not, or whether they’re just not trying hard enough, there are still so many things believed about ADHD that are not true.

I just wish that when a child has been diagnosed, there were follow up with the parents as well. As the parent of an ADHD child, I wish that were a standard part of the process.

When my son was approved for funding under the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) — we started that journey with the Early Childhood Intervention stage rather than straight into the main NDIS program. I also wish that parent learning was automatically put into the budget, especially as a parent who had no experience with the NDIS process and system. There is a lot of learning that you have to do if you choose to Self Manage the NDIS funding, so please consider that before you choose to self-manage, unless you know someone trustworthy you can speak to about the process.

When I was going through my son’s planning meeting for NDIS, I didn’t know what to ask for, even though I had looked online and tried to find information about what would be most useful. It would be beneficial for a teaching component to be automatically added for the parents and carers.

If you are at the point in your child’s diagnostic journey where you are talking about planning meetings, and what the insurance will cover for your child, please ask your representative about parent and carer education.

Without knowing how to correctly address what your child is going through, it can be very difficult to appreciate and understand whether what you’re doing is helping them.

Even if you have been given a late in life diagnosis matching your child, your experience will be very different from that of your child. You have had years of teaching yourself coping mechanisms and learning how to navigate the world around your ADHD or ASD.

ADHD tends to run in the family.

If you are going through your child’s diagnostic paperwork, and you do recognize your own behaviours in the scenarios they use to assess your child, there is no harm in speaking to a doctor or psychologist and seeing if there is something that you need to follow up for yourself. Just because you may have managed up to this point, does not mean you need to struggle forever.

© Kristy Westaway 2021