How to Trick Your ADHD Brain into Cleaning (with Science!)

My sophomore year in college, my dorm room was invaded by an army of fruit flies. It was my own fault—I had misplaced several avocados a week earlier and they had started to rot. Unfortunately, finding and disposing of the decomposing avocados was not an easy task. The topography of my cluttered room had begun to resemble a J.R.R. Tolkien map: Were the rotting avocados hiding beneath Dirty Laundry Mountain or Damp Towels Butte? Perhaps they had gotten stuck behind the Twin Towers of Loose Papers and Books I'll Eventually Get Around to Reading. Had they sunk into the Swamp of Textbooks of Semesters Past? Maybe they had rolled into the Cave of Abandoned Hobbies—aka under my bed—where a broken skateboard, half-finished sewing projects, a wood burning kit, two manuals on sailor's knots, and a sundry assortment of my other short-term interests had all gone to quietly die.

For most people, the fruit flies would have been a wakeup call: Time to roll up my sleeves and wage war against The Mess! But not for me. Instead, I abandoned my room to the increasingly hostile fruit flies (did I just hear them buzzing Morse code for "GET OUT"?) For two weeks, I managed to avoid the eventual cleanup by couch surfing between friends' homes—all because I was too intimidated to face the mess I had made.

Sound familiar? If so, you may have been diagnosed (or perhaps should be diagnosed) with Attention-Deficient/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

I’m an adult female with ADHD. Over the years, sometimes the situations that have arisen from my neurodivergence have been funny. Other times they have not. Like getting repeatedly chastised by roommates or my partner for not doing my part in household chores. Or constantly losing important items like my license, credit card, or car keys. Or feeling an ever-looming sense of disappointment in myself for neglecting to keep my living space tidy.

"Why don't you just clean your room? Wash the dishes? Fold your laundry?"

For years, my only answer was: "I don't know. I just can't."

After a lot of research, many conversations with various psychologists, and years of trial-and-error (with more than one moldy fruit incident along the way), I'm here to tell you the scientific answer to those very questions—and to offer some tips on how to overcome the barriers in your ADHD* brain.

*A quick note on acronyms: Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention-deficit disorder (ADD) are terms that describe the same medical condition. ADD was the official name of the condition from 1980 to 1987, though many doctors and patients still use it today. ADHD is now the official medical name of the disorder—and as of 2013, it is a blanket term that covers three different "presentations": those who are predominantly inattentive, predominately hyperactive-impulsive, or a combination of both. For the sake of inclusivity and medical correctness, I will be using the term ADHD.

Why Bother With The Science?

To begin, I want to make one thing clear. Just because I have ADHD does not mean I have a bad brain. In fact, I have a very good brain—one that loves to dream up stories while I shower, that quickly memorizes fun facts about animals, that keeps me awake so I can keep reading a good book till the early hours of the morning.

But because of the way my brain processes information, there are certain tasks that I need to approach a specific way if I want to be successful.

The first step to "tricking" your ADHD brain is understanding it. When you take time to learn about your unique wiring, you can begin to identify the why behind your oft-puzzling behaviors. (Why do I always lose my credit card? Why don't I notice how dirty my room is until someone tells me? Why can't I remember to take out the trash?) Your ADHD brain has its own wants and needs that must be considered with every task. By recognizing what they are, you can begin working with your ADHD instead of always struggling against it. Knowledge is power!

The "Correct" Way to Be ADHD

The most important thing to know is that ADHD is NOT a one-size-fits-all condition.

ADHD isn't just the pencil-tapping, fast-talking, "ooh I can't focus on this conversation because I saw something shiny!" stereotypes. And despite pop culture lauding Bart Simpson as the poster child of ADHD, the condition is not exclusive to hyperactive young males.

Growing up, I never presented as "typically" ADHD. I wasn't disruptive in class, I had little trouble paying attention in school, I was enrolled into accelerated programs at an early age. Though I experienced early success in my academic life, my life at home was a different story. Each day was a struggle to keep my room clean and organized, to keep track of my favorite toys, to remember to do my chores. I remember many frustrating arguments with my parents. And most of all, I remember feeling confused—I didn’t understand why these simple tasks felt all but impossible to me. I became convinced that my inability to keep organized stemmed from an innate laziness and aloofness that I would never be able to shake. I felt resigned to this inevitability, resulting in a damaged sense of self-worth.

At fifteen, I finally received my diagnosis. Yet—despite positively responding to ADHD medication—I began feeling like a fraud because I didn't identify with what I thought ADHD was "supposed" to look like. I found that many of the resources that offered up life advice for people with ADHD geared their information toward a very specific type of person that I didn’t feel represented me. So, despite having the assistance of medication, I still often felt powerless against my symptoms when it came to tackling everyday tasks.

For anyone out there who struggles with this same sense of identity crisis or who worries they don’t fit the diagnosis, I'll let you in on a little secret: THERE IS NO "CORRECT" WAY TO BE ADHD.

The lack of public awareness/education and the media's shallow caricaturizing of ADHD may be why fewer than 20% of adults with ADHD are currently diagnosed and/or treated by psychiatrists. Adult women like myself are especially at risk of being left untreated or misdiagnosed.

Of course, fidgeting and distractibility are valid symptoms that many people with ADHD experience. But they are only the tip of the iceberg for a disorder that is estimated to affect 11% of children and 4.4% of adults in the US.

Now, to determine what strategies will be most successful for YOU when it comes to successfully cleaning, we need to identify the specific ways that ADHD manifests in your own unique and beautiful brain.

The Many Faces of ADHD

ADHD is an executive function deficit disorder (EFDD), also known as an executive function disorder (EFD).

What is "executive function?" The American Heritage Medical Dictionary defines executive function as "the cognitive process that encompasses an individual's ability to organize thoughts and activities, prioritize tasks, manage time efficiently, and make decisions." This is synonymous with self-regulation, or how our brain behaves in relation to our future goals.

Executive dysfunction means that your brain has chronic difficulty in executing these daily processes. For anyone with ADHD, this point is obvious: Sometimes doing stuff feels really hard. Duh.

The real magic happens when you identify which executive functions aren’t functioning properly, and thereby are making a task more difficult than it should be. To make sense of our symptoms, let’s examine the various processes where dysfunction can occur.

Researchers and institutions break down the executive functions of the brain in various ways, but they all offer similar overall categories for the cognitive abilities that can be impacted by ADHD.

The most encompassing breakdown of these executive functions that I found was from smartbutscatteredkids.com:

1. Working Memory
2. Emotional Control
3. Flexibility
4. Goal-Directed Persistence
5. Metacognition
6. Organization
7. Planning/Prioritization
8. Response Inhibition
9. Stress Tolerance
10. Sustained Attention
11. Task Initiation
12. Time Management
13. Working Memory

Now it's time to play a little game I call: What Flavor of ADHD are YOU?

I like to think of the list of executive functions as possible ingredients for an ADHD smoothie. We're all a blend of these processes not functioning properly in varying degrees—but depending on our own unique chemistry, the recipes for everyone’s personal experience with ADHD will differ. For example, some folks may struggle with certain executive processes that others don't have any difficulty with at all. That is why there is no single piece of blanket advice that works for every ADHD brain. The strategies you chose have to be custom-fit to you.

Looking at the list above, ask yourself: Which of these terms resonate with me? When attempting to do a cleaning task, which of these executive functions do I struggle with, and to what degree?

One exercise you can do is to group these executive functions into categories: those that you struggle with consistently, those that you sometimes have difficulty with, and those that you rarely or never have trouble with.

Congratulations, you've just identified which dysfunctions you'll need to accommodate and overcome! The way you approach any cleaning task needs to take into account those mental barriers. Knowing the source of your difficulties gives you the power to start experimenting with various methods that can accommodate your brain.

In the following section, I'll look deeper at a few of the executive functions that I personally struggle with, and that I'm continuously learning to adapt to. I encourage you to delve further into research about your own executive dysfunctions and to brainstorm solutions for your own cleaning obstacles. Good luck growing and learning (and let's not forget about cleaning!), my ADHD friends!

Emotional Control

Do you find that you become easily frustrated or upset when doing certain tasks? Do you have to be in a certain "mood" to start cleaning? Does your emotional state decide whether or not you're able to complete daily chores?

I get unreasonably angry when I change the bedsheets. I don't know why, I just do. There's something about trying to force a seemingly too-small fitted sheet over a mattress corner and having other already-tucked corners come popping back up at me that kindles a pure, unadulterated rage deep in my soul. I have been brought to tears of frustration over unruly bedsheets more than once, and that five-minute chore often plunges me into a long-lasting bad mood. "BUt SaM, iT's JuSt ChAnGiNg ThE sHeEtS" I know. However, that chore has become my brain's worst enemy. I hate it, plain and simple.

Everyone has their chores they dislike most, but for folks with ADHD this dislike can often be amplified to the point that we'll just avoid doing the chore at all. (I once slept on a bare mattress for three weeks because I so dreaded putting a fresh set of sheets on.) If you have one chore that you simply can't stand—that ruins your mood or that you'll just keep putting off forever—then I have a piece of advice for you: don't do it.

Now hear me out—I'm not saying that you should just sleep in a dirty bed the rest of your life. Instead, try to figure out a way that you either don't have to continue doing it, or that at least mitigates its unpleasantness.

This requires thinking creatively. What is it you so dislike about the chore? Is there a way that you can work around that unpleasant aspect or do it in a different way? For a while, I stopped using fitted sheets because struggling to stretch them over the mattress was a triggering point. Instead, I just draped a loose sheet over the mattress. It isn't a perfect solution, of course, and it sure wouldn't make Martha Stewart proud. But we're not striving for perfection here. After all, a non-fitted sheet on my mattress is better than none at all! And if it meant sparing myself the blast of negativity, I was happy to complete the chore in a sub-standard way.

Another solution is to try to trade your least favorite chore(s) away. If you're living with others, you likely already have a system of rotating household responsibilities. Talk to the people you live with—your siblings, housemates, parents, partner. See if someone would also be willing to do a more permanent "chore swap" with you. Offer to take over watering their plants and cleaning their mirrors, if they'll take over the dreaded task of vacuuming your room once a week. This strategy has worked well for my boyfriend and I—he is now the one who changes the sheets, whereas I'm responsible for cleaning our cat's litter box. I'll take cat poop over fitted sheets any day!

Even if you don't live with anyone, this trade-off system can still work! Offer to cook a nice dinner for a friend or partner in exchange for them coming over to help fold and hang up your clean clothes, or assisting in whatever particular chore it is that you so despise.

Goal-Directed Persistence

Do you often abandon or switch between chores before you finish them? Are you easily distracted from the task at hand? Do you have difficulty following through on larger, more time-intensive cleaning projects?

If I'm left to my own devices, I tend to jump around like the energizer-bunny, flitting between many different cleaning tasks and finishing none. I've discovered that I'm most successful at completely my cleaning goals if I use the buddy system: invite a friend who will keep me accountable!

Hanging out with a friend has the added bonus of making cleaning more fun. However, if you're anything like me, then the lure of conversation could also completely derail my attention from the task at hand. That's why I like to establish these periods as "productivity time." I'll invite a friend to come over and tell them to bring an activity of their own that they've been procrastinating—this can be homework, tax forms, a computer to finish work emails, an art project, etc. Each of us has our own separate assignments that we need to complete. The agreement is that we will NOT distract each other—instead, we'll hold each other accountable for actually doing the work. Sharing in an atmosphere of productivity makes me much more likely to actually stick with the task I've set out to accomplish—no more leaving piles of half-sorted laundry on the floor! Plus, you'll have someone to celebrate with when you're both done!

Organization

Do you have difficulty keeping track of important items? Are you inconsistent with your organizational systems? Do you often feel overwhelmed by clutter?

An organizational tip that I hear again and again is how much easier it is to stay organized when you have less stuff.

For many, this advice may sound straightforward. Unfortunately, for an ADHD mind, paring down your possessions can be really hard. As much as I admire Marie Kondo, her method of chucking everything that doesn't "spark joy" doesn't quite work for me. The problem is that, for my ADHD brain, there are a lot of things that spark joy.

One beautiful thing about ADHD is that we often hyper-engage in our interests. We get obsessed with a certain hobby—it could be makeup, or scrapbooking, or a particular videogame. These interests can last days, months, years, or even the rest of our lives. However, there's usually another interest that eventually catches our attention and takes over the spotlight in our hyper-fixating brain. Because of this penchant for ever-changing passions, I have become the QUEEN of amateur hobbies. Over the years my interests have flitted from writing, surfing, painting, collaging, rafting, jewelry making, day trading, yoga, photography, snowboarding, mushroom foraging—the list goes on and on. And each of these hobbies involves their own materials and equipment which, after a while, really begin to pile up.

Sure, one solution would be to get rid of everything that I'm not currently engaged in. However, I often find myself returning to past hobbies even after a hiatus of several years. I therefore think it's worthwhile to have the option to return to past interests without having to re-buy the supplies all over again. As nice as it can be to have reminders of all the different hobbies I've enjoyed over the years displayed in my room, the truth is that it results in a lot of clutter that often leaves me feeling extra disorganized and overwhelmed. I've started to pick two or three hobbies that I'm currently most interested in, and then I store—not throw out!—other interests that I'm not currently engaged in but that I may return to in the future. All of those hobbies-in-waiting, I put in easy-to-access storage locations that are out of sight and no longer taking up drawer/shelf/floor space. Still close enough (in the closet, under the bed, in the garage) in case I have a sudden urge to take it back up. Whenever my creative fancies start craving a change, I simply switch out one of my current hobbies for one of those in storage.

Metacognition

Does it take you a while to notice messes in your environment? Do you and your housemates have different standards of what "clean" means? Are your cleaning abilities often not up to others' standards? Do you have difficulty holding yourself accountable to cleaning schedules and chore charts?

A common disagreement between my boyfriend and I is over what we consider to be an acceptable level of cleanliness in our home. Whereas I don't mind letting the dirty dishes stack up for a day or two.... or a week—he definitely does. In reality, I'm often so hyperfocused on other things that I often won't even notice that my dishes are accumulating. But when I neglect my dirty dishes or other chores for an extended period of time, my partner ends up feeling like I'm shirking in our shared responsibility of keeping a clean home.

My advice here is to open up a line of clear and honest communication with those that you live with. Explain to your parents, your housemates, or your significant other that when you don't notice a mess or don't display any sense of urgency in your efforts to clean something, it doesn't mean that you are doing so intentionally or with malice. An ADHD brain can interpret the surrounding environment in a very different way than a neurotypical brain. This can mean that a mess that appears obvious to someone else hasn't even been registered by you.

In turn, you must also communicate that your lack of awareness doesn't mean that you expect them to pick up the extra slack. My partner would often clean up my messes for me before I'd even noticed them, which often led to him quietly feeling taken advantage of. Emphasize that your living companions are always welcome to kindly communicate anything they think you might be forgetting or to mention any messes that are bothering them.

This system has been working well for my partner and I. After explaining more about the way my ADHD inhibits my ability to recognize when things need to be cleaned, he's realized that usually all I need is a gentle reminder to get something done. He now politely tells me whenever there's a mess or chore that I'm neglecting, and we agree on a period of time—usually two or three days, and never less than 24 hours—during which I promise to complete it.

When living with others, it's so important to recognize the way your ADHD may be affecting your loved ones and to validate their experiences. Communicating your own ADHD perspective and building solutions together with them is key to keeping a home both clean and happy!

If these tips helped you, they might help others too! Please consider sharing the link with friends that you feel could benefit from the article. And let me know you liked my story by clicking on the heart! xxoo