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How can you set yourself free and set the other person free in an intimate relationship?

Express your truth by listening to your body as well as your emotional sensations.

By Fester HammerPublished 2 years ago â€ĸ 4 min read
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How can you set yourself free and set the other person free in an intimate relationship?
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Everyone can keep tending to the inner layers of truth by listening to physical as well as emotional sensations and expressing their truth in a spirit of spiritual warriorship. Remember, your authenticity will always set you free and set others free.

Did you eat the loving dessert your boyfriend gave you or did you refuse it for fear of gaining weight?

What is your truth? Do you hear and feel your truth? Which of your inner voices do you listen to? How do you know which voice is your truth?

For example, if your boyfriend gives you a chocolate cake, two voices come up inside of you, one is: "I want to eat this cake." The other voice is: "But I want to lose weight so you won't think I'm fat." Which one is true for you?

You can look further down the layer, what is the reality underneath these two voices? Maybe it's, "I'm afraid that you won't love me if I'm not as thin as other women." If you communicate this truth to your boyfriend, you will be more relaxed and comfortable because when you expose your truth, you are resonating with your inner self. When the other person hears your truth, he will also resonate with you and you two will be closed. If your boyfriend hears that you are afraid that he doesn't love you, he may want to comfort you even more and express his love for you even further.

01

deeper levels of authenticity.

Both need to expose your vulnerability or negative feelings

A very simple little thing, through the communication of your truth, can make two people more intimate, because usually to communicate such a deep truth, all need to expose your vulnerability or negative feelings, and need to have a risky spirit before you dare to let others see the parts you would normally hide. When you don't speak your truth, it's like holding down a string on a guitar; the whole instrument can't resonate in its entirety. Your body, your mind, your whole being is like this guitar.

Real emotions are always bubbling up and always need to flow smoothly and be expressed. When we suppress our true feelings, our whole body will "die" because we need to use a lot of power to suppress the truth, to stop it from flowing and releasing. This suppression makes us tired, weak, and heavy. In the long run, we may even get sick, and our bodies will lose their health and vitality.

02

Repression of the real voice

Our body will "die"

By suppressing our authentic voice, we don't just lose resonance with ourselves, we lose resonance with life itself. Our inner wisdom and all of life's experiences have been guiding us and communicating with us through our true feelings, and when we don't express it and choose to suppress it, we begin to not hear the voice of our inner wisdom and see how life has been teaching us. It can end up causing us to live an uncreative, sloppy life, and we can become bleak and sluggish, not knowing what we want or what we like.

Whenever I encourage participants to take the truth that they tell in front of me and go back and communicate it directly to the person they are in conflict with, the most common thing I hear is, "I can't tell because I'm afraid of hurting him." I have to explain to them all that your truth will not hurt him, the only thing that will suffer is the other person's ego, pride, or face, which are not the real him. As long as it is your truth that is communicated, it will not hurt his soul but will stimulate his ego to grow, so be brave enough to express your truth for the other person to learn what he should learn.

03

It is selfish not to tell you're true feelings

I also guide participants to see that "I can't be so selfish as to tell my truth just to make it easier for myself because I'm afraid the other person will get hurt." On the surface, it sounds like I am thinking of others for their good, but underneath is a deeper truth: "I am afraid of the other person's reaction, afraid that I will not be able to bear his anger"; "I am afraid that he will not love me if I tell him". Participants understand that it is selfish not to tell they're true feelings. So most of the participants will finally choose to be brave enough to go home and communicate their truth to each other and allow each other to have their reactions.

I will teach participants to avoid any blame or judgment when communicating and just say, "What happened at ...... made me feel ...... (an emotional adjective)". Participants, if the other person still has anger or negative emotions coming up, allow the other person to have his or her feelings while taking a deep breath to take care of their inner fears. As long as there is no judgment, but only talking about your emotions, your truth will one day grow on him. This truth that you are afraid to let him know is a gift that will help him grow and give it out to complete your relationship.

Everyone can keep tending to the inner layers of truth by listening to physical as well as emotional sensations and expressing their truth in a spirit of spiritual warriorship. Remember, your authenticity will always set you free and set others free.

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About the Creator

Fester Hammer

We soon believe what we desire.

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