God, grant me the serenity.

Change is gonna get you one way or another. That is just a fact. But sometimes you have a choice- there is a whole prayer about it:

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

So, sometimes change sneaks up on you, no matter what you do. You can plant your feet into the earth, let the vines curl up and around your legs and hold you in place and hope that change doesn’t find you. And maybe, for the most part, it doesn’t. Not the big kind of changes. You may think, if I stay quiet and small and don’t move a muscle, that everything will stay the same. And for a long time, it does. And then something catastrophic happens. Or the darkness gets you. Or a tornado blows through town and takes your house with it. A tower moment, if you will.

And then sometimes, you just have to say, alright, change, let’s do this. And when you do this, when you decide to partner up with change, I think that is alchemy. I think when you just do the hard, scary thing, it is saying, I am brave. I am courageous. And I am ready for new, good, better things to come into my life.

This is where I am at right now. Making some changes. This year has handed me a lot of changes that I wasn’t ready for or prepared for. I certainly was not a part of the planning committee. I haven’t talked about a lot of them because I just haven’t wanted to. I’ve talked a lot about my dad dying because I just don’t know what else to do. But right before my dad died, I was in a major car accident, in a car that I had just purchased and planned to keep for a very long time. I’ve had medical emergencies and hospitalizations I wasn’t planning on. So, I am now focused on the things that I can change, hoping I have the wisdom needed to know what is and isn’t in my control.

Part of that is giving myself grace. I haven’t written shit in months, but just created a new, functional, inspiring workspace for myself with the plan to try to find my voice again. This piece? This ain’t it, I know that, but it is a check in to let you know I am still here, and I will be back.

Stay tuned, because bigger and better and more adventurous things are coming. Writing wise, most things will still likely related to my dad because right now, I just look at life in relation to my dad’s place in it. As long as I can find him in bikes and donuts and books and everything else, I know he won’t get fuzzy. But I will find the words for other things too. I am launching a youtube channel about Ronald Reagan. I eventually will pick up both the books I have been working on and complete writing them. I will tell you about new spaces and ideas and love and death and art. I will tell you about things with clarity and rawness, but today isn't that day. Today is just the day I let you know I have decided to meet change where it's at instead of letting it hunt me down, and I am optimistic that we can come up with something really cool together.

God, grant me the serenity.

One day at a time, I guess. What else can I do?