FALLS & FOOLS

For those who would like to know, I'm a special kinda' man that can't help but to navigate this thing called life with a pen and paper handy. It's as if every single day, class is in session, and I refuse to miss a beat. As soon as valuable ideas find themselves at my feet, I cage them up and log the date to remind myself I'm not new to the game.

Speaking of dates, there just something about the last leg of the year that always feels unique. There's something about October in specific. I got braces in October, I take vacations in October (using PTO as we speak), and I'm always in great shape around October. Even when I deep dive into my collection of notes, some of my favorite bits of wisdom are dated consistently to October. That's why we're here.

After surfing through journals of gems, I put my talented mind to work, wondering whether or not these short 'n' sweet theories had more than just the tenth month in common. I was looking for a common theme. Long story short, the journey led us to this point: At the intro of a newly revised masterpiece.

This project exists with an intent to reinforce one's judgment; Emphasizing that which is not what it seems to be. This is either going to feel like food for thought or a simple reminder that you're not (always) paranoid.

(The following text is from pages of my personal journal; Original writing from October 1, 2021 and October 24, 2022—Compiled, published, and now republished as Falls & Fools)

Rotten Roots

It's not a secret that I live my life with a watchful eye, trying to sharpen my ability to detect malice, no matter where it lurks or how it's presented. This year I've done a pretty good job uncovering more tell-tales of what may not be as sweet as it looks on the surface. I'd like to start by declaring my latest discovery in sources of evil: The selfish desire to feel like or appear as something.

Whether it is due to insecurities, an effort to impress someone else, or a need to make a point, people may use others as props to suggest something about themselves. They don't always realize (or care) that someone else's dignity, embarrassment, comfort, or even credibility is the cost for them to put on a show. A performance at that price is a crime in my book, and probably isn't recognized enough as a CAUSE for confusion in this world.

Tricky Tools

The next thing on my list speaks to the disguised mode of attack that is not as easily deflected: Compliments and Conversations. Compliments are often used to deliver insults, to gain influence, or to distract from jealousy.

Some people think they can encourage you to behave a certain way if they give you the credit in advance. Others may think that telling you nice things will lead you to believe they adore you (as opposed to envying or fearing you). As cynical as it sounds, I've come to realize that I should be wary of kind words above all else, for such vigilance may empower me.

Sneaky Setups

My younger self knew better than to readily accept what people say as "genuine", but at this stage in my life, I'm not just dismissing flattery, I'm taking it as a signal. In terms of mere conversation, it's important to consider TOPICS more than TONES. It doesn't matter how kind, how concerned, or how impressed someone sounds when addressing a subject; The introduction of the subject in itself can be telling. Especially when the original context is odd or incongruent with said subject.

If others believe something makes you uncomfortable or is meant to be hidden, they make seek a way to shine light on it. It doesn't matter how pleasant the conversation seems, its sole purpose is to rip away the covers. It's merely a gateway to what one may believe is humiliating exposure. Even if someone is grinning from ear to ear and looking you kindly in your eyes, be mindful if they're speaking about things you've steadfastly kept to yourself.

I also want to shine light on the innocent social behaviors that I recently decided are red flags. Thanks to sympathy, drawing the lines between devotion and manipulation can be quite difficult if you're an optimistic person. Luckily, certain practices can be dead giveaways when it comes to relationships that are still...pending.

People who endeavor for trust

What is the gain? It should always raise a flag when a person wants to win you over or make you fond of them. Too many times, I've seen liars and frauds try their best to "have my back" when obstacles arise. Despite their flaws in character and empty words, they eagerly snatch opportunities to side with you. Ironically enough, I've decided this is a perfect sign that I shouldn't trust you. Especially in contrast to the fact that many attractive people I've crossed paths with have never been as persistent.

People who insist on telling you how they feel

I understand the need to get things off your chest. However, if I've never given you reason to think I like you, why am I hearing your intimate thoughts and experiences? Either it's a cry for sympathy or, once again, a reach for my trust by way of acting as if you trust me. We have to be mindful of those who are too willing to be vulnerable, for it can simply be a request for pity that intends to distract from what needs to be talked about.

People who like you no matter what you do

There definitely has to be something phony about these kinds. No matter how you behave towards them, they still pour time and energy into you. Oftentimes it's because an ulterior motive has yet to be met. Not to mention, guilty people tend to quickly forgive.

People may harbor remorse for actions/intentions of which you're not even aware. As a result, they are secretly unsurprised by your attitude towards them. In fact, they may be perfectly prepared. Be very wary of people who constantly pretend not to notice your distaste for them. What is keeping them from matching your energy?

I'll consider this piece of the writing a concrete collection of red flags that may help protect me from the friendliest of faces.

Now for the second half, let's go beyond the tricks of petty people and into the illusion of experiences altogether. In this game of life where not even tomorrow is promised, no one with DREAMS is a stranger to DOUBTS.

Although uncertainty is stressful, that which dares to dishearten us often depends on a mere nightmare that we've created. With the right state of mind, one can remain neutral in his battle with the unknown and sustain confidence whether he endures or evades it.

Don't trust the QUICK

Easy come, easy go. I'd apply that to everything. When things happen all too smoothly, it's probably because they aren't what they seem. Something behind the scenes or weaved in the details may catch you by surprise. Perhaps it isn't so solid or so valuable at all. After all, that which is easily obtained has no need to be desired—anyone can have it. On the flip side, you can better appreciate things that ask for your patience. It's like your life is downloading something grand.

Roller coasters are for the worthy

When it comes to building, gaining, maintaining, or all the above, applying your best effort can make for an exhausting game. Whether it be physical or mental, such exhaustion is not necessary to endure if the grand prize does not personally satisfy us. Sometimes we have to look beyond understood "value" and ask ourselves what benefits our mission. Do I really need this at my table? We must spare ourselves the ups and downs for that which truly matters to us. We have to readily abandon things that don't serve us, no matter the claims of importance.

Live in the season

When something good comes to an end, it's easy to feel empty-handed without a particular thing to pursue. In a life so abundant, what we mistake to be "empty hands" may actually be extra space; New room to refocus on things that occupied us before we encountered our "something good". What we see to be "a loss" or "an end" is conversely a restart or beginning; A season for something different is finally afoot.

When romance fades, we can reserve our energy to progress and produce. When productivity is low, we can make time to nurture our relationships. Without work, there is opportunity for rest and play. Without leisure, there is a chance at advancement and profit. They key here is to remind yourself that your plate is never truly empty.

Here we are, a few Octobers later

Before I sign off, I'd like to remind you that these words first came to life in journals meant primarily for my own eyes. Now that the time has come to give them to the public, please understand that the message is not about constant suspicion. Such skeptical perception is most appropriate in situations where people around you have little to offer you and little reason to be fond of you.

I've always said that a fool is the man that takes me for one, and the things I've penned are my testimony. Funny enough, it seems like the season of Fall has been a prominent era of falling for nothing. Who would have thought that Halloween would get closer just for the disguises to come off?