Enough

Tap tap tap.

My eyes pop open. Was that the door? I look over toward my clock, it’s 3:42 in the morning.

Bang Bang Bang.

Okay, there is definitely someone at the door. I sit up and reach for my robe that I had hanging on my bedpost. The knocking continues as I slip my house shoes on. I reach for my phone on my way to the door and see I’ve missed 37 calls from my very best friend. Oh no. Please not again.

I open the door already knowing Kimberly is on the other side of the door.

“Kim,” I say softly as I pull the door open.

“Oh Kim, are you okay?”

She was standing there sopping wet. Her hair is a tangled mess. Her dress was torn across the chest and I could see bleeding, bruised bite marks on the exposed part of her body. Her beautiful mouth now busted and bleeding, one eye is swollen shut.

Tears pouring out of her eyes, she opens her mouth to speak but she is too ashamed. I start to cry as I pull her inside with a hug. She winces, she always does.

“Layla is asleep in the car, can I bring her in?”

“You go shower, I have clean clothes in the dryer, I’ll go get Layla.”

It has been about two months since this last happened. Before then it was almost weekly. I’ve never wished death on anyone, but for him I make an exception.

Her husband is a tyrant. He runs on power, perfection and manipulation. He demands excellence from Kim and she delivers in every possible way. A devoted wife, mother and a perfect housewife, Kimberly is a goddess. She is a solid ten, beautiful tan skin, deep green eyes and flowing, waist length natural auburn hair.

Her beauty and body are all natural, she keeps in prime shape. Even after she had their daughter Layla, she wasted no time getting back into the gym. She had to.

Her face is absolutely flawless. Beautifully structured with full plump, lips and a toothpaste commercial smile. She never wore a drop of makeup, she wasn’t allowed to. She was his trophy, but any effort she put into herself was seen by Hector as a grab for another’s man's attention.

They had been going to therapy. Kim’s final attempt at saving their destructive marriage. I knew it wouldn’t help but hoped it would. I was fooled, we both were. It didn’t take long for him to stop pretending, or caring, whichever it was that made him backslide. I pray that she will leave him every single day. I guess it’s time for a different prayer.

I reach the car and see Layla’s butterfly blanket through the back window. I smile at the thought of my sweet, goddaughter. She is such a blessing. I start to cry as I think of the horrible things my poor baby has been through in her four short years of life. Too much, way too much. I bundle Layla up and grab her backpack, her tiny hazel eyes peek open and she cracks a smile at me. I kiss her on the forehead and give her a snuggle.

“Hey princess, ready to spend the night?”

“Yes! I love it here!” she exclaimed. “ I never want to leave!”

“Well, let’s go then silly girl, You and mommy can sleep on my bed, how’s that sound?”

“Can you sleep with us too Aunt Kris?”

I smile, “Yes baby, I’ll sleep with y'all. Now come on, I'll carry you inside.”

I get Layla comfortable and put her to bed then go wait for Kimberly on the sofa.

I shake images of the things that could’ve happened to her this time from my head in gut wrenching disgust. More than anything in the world, I wished he would just die.

I start to visualize that instead. It was better than visualizing the traumatizing things he’s done to Kim.

I start to doze off, what time is it I wonder? 5:15. Hmm. The water is still running so I go put the kettle on, maybe a little tea will wake me up without too much caffeine.

Dreary, I slump back to the couch to rest my eyes.

I’m suddenly jolted awake by the screech of the kettle. Fuck!

I hop up and switch the stove off. I hadn’t even noticed I had fallen asleep.

Oh, great. No cups. I walk to the sink to wash two of my coffee mugs.

Weird. No hot water, but the water from the tub is still running. Surely Kims not taking an ice cold bath. I shut the water off and walk over to the bathroom. I knock but there isn’t an answer. Cold water absorbs into my sock from under the bathroom door.

“KIM!” I yell softly, as I try the doorknob. Locked.

Oh fuck. I go to grab my ID from my wallet and start jabbing at the door's auxiliary latch. A minute later I break through the door and find nothing.

“Kim?”

My bathtub is overflowing. Seriously? I go to turn the water off.

What in the world is happening? I sit at the edge of the tub and take a look around. The window is wide open, curtains flowing outside with the wind. Her tattered dress lay soaked on the floor. Surely she didn't leave? I take off my wet socks and throw a few towels on the wet floor. I trot out of the bathroom to my bedroom to see if maybe I had just missed her, maybe she was distraught? She isn’t there, she isn’t anywhere.

I take out my phone and call her. It doesn’t go through.

What the fuck, Kim? She’s never done this before.

I stand there in my hallway confused, just trying to wrap my head around what could possibly be going through Kim’s mind.

She must have lost it, gone absolutely bonkers.

With no other ideas, I go and check the contents of Layla’s Blue’s Clues backpack.

Inside it was stuffed with several changes of Layla’s clothes. I dig through and at the very bottom I find a book.

I recognize it as Kimberly's sketch book. She was an amazing artist and carried it with her everywhere.

I pull out the book, encased in soft, black Italian leather. I slip the elastic band off from around the cover of the book and begin flipping through the pages. Strange. This one is empty. I've never seen Kim with an empty sketchbook before.

I get midway through the book when I see a check.

My eyes catch the amount, twenty thousand dollars! What is she doing with that much money? I pick up the check and see it’s addressed to me.

My heart sank as I realized what must be happening. She finally had enough.

I keep flipping through the book and I find a piece of loose leaf paper tucked neatly inside.

At the top of the letter in large capital letters it read,

‘ BURN AFTER READING ‘

I continue reading a horrifying confession. Tears well up in my eyes as she describes the night she and Layla had been through.

I’m absolutely petrified at the words I am reading. Upset at the way things turned out.

I went to bed single and alone. Now I am the permanent guardian of my goddaughter Layla. Sure, I’m $20,000 richer, my goddaughter is finally safe, but I lost my best friend. Layla lost both of her parents. I don’t know how much of the night she's witnessed, or how much damage this will cause her in the long run. I close the check in the book and lay down next to Layla. I watch her sweet face as she sleeps and think about what I’m going to tell her. I can't think of anything. This is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m ready. At least I think I am. Only time will tell. I stare up at the ceiling not able to close my eyes. I wonder if I’ll ever sleep again?

I don’t know. All I know is that Layla will. She will never be in danger again, if that’s all I’ve been put on this Earth for, so be it. I am ready.