Depression And How I Escaped Suicide

All of a sudden, everywhere had become very quiet. Not too much talking but silent people moving into the other building belonging to my uncle. Those were the people I knew. Some were my older male cousins. It did not take forever for me to know what had happened. My younger male cousin who was just 20 years had committed suicide by hanging himself.

This boy had been away from home for quite some time but came back home, quietly went to an uncompleted building, and took his own life. His reason was that his sister-in-law used abusive language toward him. And he was not getting the necessary love and assistance he wanted. This ugly incident took place in the year 2002. He was talented, energetic, handsome , and easy-going. Nobody suspected anything of such but unfortunately, it happened. My cousin exited the world by taking his own life.

Though, years have passed, I still find it difficult to come to terms with how someone would be so bold as to take their own life. Despite being in suicidal situations, I have never contemplated suicide. Staying alive is enough to make one believe in a brighter future. Notwithstanding what the present circumstances might hold.

I am from a country where there is high competition for available limited resources. If things were done right, there would be no need for those unhealthy competitions. Yes!!!.

I graduated from the university in the year 2011. I used one year to compulsorily serve my country, then ventured into music as a career. But, before then, getting admitted into the university was a hurdle I had to overcome in life. I had become a different person after spending three to four years at home to make this happen.

Of course, I was worried because a lot of people were looking up to me because I was good academically. I would lock myself up, and stay all alone in my room. I barely talked to people. I did not hate anyone or envy people's success. I was just worried about why being admitted into the university was such a big deal. Gradually, my thought pattern started changing and drifted in a very dangerous direction.

My life dream had always been to become a graduate. And what's life without achieving this dream? What will those looking up to me say if I fail in this task? Those envious of my academic success would then see a reason to celebrate.

I got admission in the year 2007 and graduated with honors in the year 2011. Being depressed while waiting to be admitted was not much of a challenge because I already had the antidote to depression.

Yeah. I was always alone in the room but was never found all alone. For there is no damn way that is possible. Social media is one of the best things that have happened to humanity. I spent a larger part of the days on Facebook reading comments. I contributed to threads by replying to comments too. I replied to a lot of comments and by so doing I would take my mind away from those things that were troubling my life.

I love singing which is why I ventured into music after school. I would either play the songs I liked and sing along or start singing when bored with Facebook comments and posts. When doing this, I would bury my body, heart, and soul in the songs. With this, my heart went away from all troubles.

Another thing I used to do was go to a quiet environment, away from my home- beach, maybe. I would just sit down and be appreciating the beauty of everything around me.

A time came when I was badly hurt by the people around me that I loved so much. They betrayed me and I was highly disappointed. I was expecting them to love me back and wish me well in return just as I wished them. But I later discovered that they were more interested in my failure and downfall. Those people were not aliens but my own brothers and sisters.

So, while trying to heal, instead of thinking of what love to show them, I rather focused my energy on how to love myself and better my life. Therefore, I put it to you that the fastest way of recovering from depression is to focus on yourself. Do you have the money? Buy something nice for yourself. All the good plans you had for such people, move such plans to yourself or elsewhere. You are only hurting because you expected so much in return from those people. You were willing and totally committed to doing more and in return expected those people to reciprocate but their living dangerously got you disappointed in them.

The keyword here is "self-love". Some might later call you selfish, don't let that bother you. If being selfish will restore your sanity, please be selfish. This has worked for me. And I know it will work for you too. If there is a particular recipe that you enjoy so much, please prepare or make it on a regular. Anything that will make you happy or bring laughter to your heart, do it. Here is the deal, human beings are the most selfish beings. 99 percent of people around you don't care about how feel. Therefore, don't worsen the situation by not caring about yourself.

Watch comic movies or shows. Be around happy people and see more smiling faces. As people laugh at the jokes of comedians, your brain is induced to trigger laugher too. Life is too short to expect so much from people that will give nothing to you in return.

Go ahead and love yourself. Yeah. Go ahead and do so. Don't forget that life is too precious to be wasted because of selfish beings - human beings. To your success.

Omeri Sylvester