Depression & Anxiety

I never thought I would be having anxiety until I got it back in August of 2019 due to trauma at work. Since then I've been struggling with anxiety and depression. Depression passed after being on medication for a year and then attending counseling sessions for 6 months. I still have some bad days but we all have good and bad days so I am happy about that. My anxiety increased and it didn't get better and I have all the tools, breathing techniques, meditation, exercises, stimulation, you name it I have probably tried it.

I learned a lot and I thought my anxiety started back in 2019 but when I look back at life I have had anxiety all along I just didn't have it to this degree. My hair has always been a challenge like so many others, a matter of finding the right shampoo and conditioner and then you can't be using the shampoo everyday as it dries out your hair and so on. But if anything I still have loved my hair.

As a child I did a lot of hair pulling but then I started working with animals so it was very much hands on, always doing something never a dull moment, so the hair pulling stopped for decades. Than I had multiple accidents and I can no longer work with animals and started school again and my hair thinned out pretty quickly due to stress and now here I am struggling with extreme hair pulling, to the point I had to cut my hair and even after cutting it I still pull out my hair, it's so bad I'm considering shaving off the rest of my hair. I always laughed at stress and anxiety and depression. I never thought I would suffer from it as I dealt with a lot of trauma in my life yet here I am suffering.

Hair pulling another word is - “Trichotillomania it can be caused by stress, anxiety and boredom these are some of the symptoms:

Repeatedly pulling your hair out, typically from your scalp, eyebrows or eyelashes, but sometimes from other body areas, and sites may vary over time

An increasing sense of tension before pulling, or when you try to resist pulling

A sense of pleasure or relief after the hair is pulled

Noticeable hair loss, such as shortened hair or thinned or bald areas on the scalp or other areas of your body, including sparse or missing eyelashes or eyebrows

Preference for specific types of hair, rituals that accompany hair pulling or patterns of hair pulling

Biting, chewing or eating pulled-out hair

Playing with pulled-out hair or rubbing it across your lips or face

Repeatedly trying to stop pulling out your hair or trying to do it less often without success

Significant distress or problems at work, school or in social situations related to pulling out your hair" ( By https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/trichotillomania/symptoms-causes/syc-20355188).

Now why am I sharing this with you all? Because if you ever struggled with this I want to let you know you are not alone.

When we are suffering we have to look at the whole picture, what the cause is, and what we have to change in our lives. Like I know for me it's the environment as it causes stress, and I am in a good place believe it or not.

We have to keep asking ourselves questions on why am I stressed, what is going on in the environment that stresses me out, where is my thought process, is it negative or positive? For me any negative you can find positive, for me it's about perfection even though there's no such thing as perfection but I have always strived for it. And when you live a life you're not happy with but you know there is no other choice we tell ourselves it's only temporary and you suffer through and unfortunately pay for it by dealing with the stress and anxiety (hair pulling). And all you can do is keep at it with your techniques you got from your doctor. It's important to get help if it gets out of control. I am trying something new to distract myself from hair pulling. I am trying to hand embroidery something to keep my hands occupied, and writing helps too. Try to find something you enjoy doing or just to try something new to put your mind at ease and elsewhere. For me it works, we just gotta keep it up.

Remember you are not alone, we can beat this by being honest with ourselves and open about the things you are dealing with in life and ask questions and ask for help, there are free resources out there if you don't have the finances.

Picture is of me enjoying the outdoors with my little long haired deer-headed chihuahua the whole time thinking my hair is a nightmare but you know what I am not letting my hair ruin my day. So don't let your hair run your life.