Connecting With My Inner Child

At first, I found the concept of an inner child a bit silly. I did not dismiss the idea that we all have aspects of our child selves within us or that childhood does not permanently and profoundly affect someone. But, for the most part, I had a fairly good childhood. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't horrendous. What I believe is a pretty average childhood.

However, as the oldest daughter with divorced parents, it was not until I got much older that I realized how quickly I actually grew up. Still, I got to enjoy presents under the Christmas tree, running around in the woods, Hot Wheels, and Barbie dolls.

When I turned 26, some switch flipped in me. Perhaps it is because I am around children more and more, becoming more comfortable with myself, or maybe I finally treated my social anxiety enough that I do not care about judgment anymore. Still, this year, I have begun connecting with my inner child, and it all started accidentally.

---

In some ways, I always connected with my inner child. I've always been a fan of fantasy and science fiction. The stories I wrote were full of fantastical worlds and abilities. I craved escapism via other worlds and lifetimes. Despite this, my interests in these grew with my age. Of course, I still like a good Disney movie and some classic children's books, but personally, I never saw this as connecting or nurturing my inner child.

The way it started for me was simply by scrolling through reels on Instagram. I became obsessed with "lucky scoop" videos and packaging videos. This led me to Sanrio. As a kid, I had a few Hello Kitty things, but it was not a vested interest of mine. However, I found immense joy in Sanrio at 26 years old.

As a child, I longed to be accepted, seen as mature, and "adult." Therefore, I rejected many childish things, even at an appropriate age. I stopped playing with Barbies at 7-8 and spent most of my time reading books well above my grade level. I would've done this regardless. However, the unnecessary pressure I put on myself (likely a product of providing emotional support for my parents and early social anxiety).

Instead of embracing something completely innocent and fun, I rejected it because of a deep seated hatred of myself and the desire to be accepted. Not only did I fight to be accepted by my peers, but also my family. Now, of course, looking back, there was nothing wrong with liking Hello Kitty and Sanrio. I just didn't see others who did.

Now, at 26, I buy Sanrio things because they make me happy and I think they are cute. This simple action has helped me connect with and heal my inner child in a way that I did not originally set out to do. It also set off a new attitude and mindset that I have about enjoying things. Instead of worrying that others may think I am childish, I let myself enjoy whatever it is I want.

Crystals, Sanrio, costume jewelry, and whatever else it may be, helps heal my inner child. I've found that this has led me to feel happier overall. This isn't a cure for anxiety or depression, but it is a nice distraction and coping mechanism.

In psychology, the inner child refers to a person's childlike aspect [source]. Serious inner child work should take place with a professional. However, I believe that we can all benefit from letting the child within us enjoy the things that we or others deprived them of.

=