Beautifully Different

Sometimes I wonder how much easier family and friends would be, without having to constantly worry about me and my struggles. Most days I’m on top of the world, and on some, I just feel as if everything around me is falling apart. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel good about myself, to the point that I just smile. Big crowds make me uncomfortable, bills and other things that I can’t control frustrate me, and the need to just hide away forever continues to crawl up my back.

Depression and anxiety have taken over my life, and I feel like I can’t shake them for the life of me. Where do I go from here knowing that all of the progress that I previously made no longer matters, how do I tell my psychiatrist that I’m slowly crawling back into that dark place? Things that used to excite me no longer hold my attention, and the everyday task is becoming harder to accomplish. What should I do to make it easier for my family and friends to no longer have to deal with me, what should I do to make my problems go away for good?

Does society actually view us as humans, or do they just view us as if we are unstable creations? I’m like a canvas that has been damaged but continues to hold its beauty and value. No, my mind may not work as the average human, but I still can get things done as they can. I no longer want to be viewed as someone who has a disability, that sometimes stands in the way of everyday things. I would like to be viewed as someone who just needs a little more time than most, but the end result will always amaze you.

Why should we have to harm ourselves in order for someone to finally realize that we need help? Mental health should be talked about with everyone, especially for those that suffer in silence. We just want to be treated like everyone else, and be talked to like we matter to the people around us. No, we are not a disgrace to society, no we should not be locked away in some psych ward, no we should not be looked down upon just because we’re a little different. That’s the beauty of being different, you’re unique in a way that many people can’t describe.

I wish that the world could see us as we see ourselves, a beautiful canvas with minor flaws that makes us unique. A brain that may never turn off the millions of thoughts that roam freely, but rather gives us an enormous imagination from time to time. We are those who may need more time than the rest, but at the end of it all, we just want to be treated fairly and justly like everyone else. Beautifully different is what we are, like a ladybug amongst flies. Those little spots represent every life challenge that we have overcome, and that we continue to overcome daily.

Our mental health or the disabilities that society may have labeled us with do not define who we are, no one can have that say so over us. Yes most of us may receive psychological help, but that does not make us any less amazing fighters. When life knocks you down, you get back up swinging even harder. Depression and anxiety are like lemons, that we just have to go and make the best lemonade out of. There is nothing that we can't do, especially when we set our minds to it and accomplish it.

Depression and anxiety will not continue to hold us down from doing what we want, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Right?