Acceptance

The air was cold and breezy on December 15, 2004. The midnight hour set in as the demons looked for light to cast their shadows. As time ticked forward the shadows began to dance. On this particular night, the shadows zeroed in on Melinda Cline.

Melinda is a loner, driven, and focused. She was 35, a failed attempt at being a mom, recently unemployed, and an addict. She is also an addict that is hell-bent on losing herself. Although most people thought of her as a hard worker. Some thought of her as a smart dumbass. All of her jobs and relationships failed because of her. Her addiction had made her a liar, a cheat, and a manipulator. She began to suffer from a vicious cycle of drugs and depression.

Melinda liked to think she was a recovering addict because there were many sober times. However, she was an addict all the same. She began to think of all the ways she failed others by lying and cheating. She felt like her behavior had led to ways of manipulation to feed her desire. How could anyone say they love her? She hated herself.

On December 16, 2004, Melinda continued to battle demons. Accepting defeat, she tried to silence them and fell into a deep sleep. She woke up wondering why she wasn't able to complete the task. Why her? What was so special about her? Feeling the weight from the burden of addiction, she swore she was ready to change. She began to bargain. "If you do this, I'll do that," she thought. She also thought, "Life doesn't work like that! We do what we want to." She was determined and found hope in change. She went on for several months soul searching. After months of being clean, she felt as though she was handling herself correctly. She decided to indulge in her past one more time. She wanted to see how the new version of herself would hold up.

On the first night of testing herself, she showed signs of self-control. By the second night, she was losing her control. She was quickly losing herself. She was aware of addiction and nothing good came from the lifestyle. She quickly began to change her behavior. She stepped away from the test and thought, "life was full of tests, no need to test herself."

Melinda felt as though people were quick to judge. She decides to keep her mistake to herself. She felt guilty, stupid and the shame took its' toll. She felt like she was being fake. Her newly found self was happy with the change but this miss adventure was casting shade on the appearance of being clean.

Weeks had gone by since her little test. As she was riding the bus, she saw a dollar bill under the seat. As she bent down to pick the dollar bill up her attention was drawn to a little black book tucked under the metal bars of the seat. She grabbed the tiny, cold, leather book. Opening the book, she began to read.

Hello reader,

Hope this book finds you during a great time of need. If you follow my instruction properly, you will find yourself with a great gift or inheritance of twenty-thousand dollars. I have laid out steps by days. You can choose where this journey will lead you. All you have to do is give yourself a little time.

Be warned! Tell no one! Be patient!

Day 1. Give yourself to someone in need.

Day 2. Give yourself kindness.

Day 3. Give yourself love.

Day 4. Give yourself hope.

Day 5. Give yourself strength.

Day 6. Give yourself peace.

Day 7. Give Thanks!

Day 8. Give yourself honesty.

Day 9. Give yourself respect.

Day 10. Give yourself acceptance.

Day 11. Give yourself purpose.

Day 12. Give yourself a dream.

Day 13. Give yourself the realization of dreams.

Day 14. Give thanks!

Melinda laughed quietly and thought, "You have to be kidding me". She quickly put the book back under the seat. As the bus slowed for her stop, she decided to take the book. She felt like maybe this was just the self-help book she needed. She realized that the twenty-thousand dollars were an incentive to read the book, but she wanted to work those steps to improve herself. She had found herself determined once again. She found hope for the future. Along the way of this new journey, if she found the twenty- thousand dollars, that would be great too...

Twenty years later. Melinda still continued to battle her demons of self-control and addiction. She had since moved on from the chains of being an addict and could truly say she was clean. Her growth leads her to achieve many wonderful things; Years had gone by since the last time she used. She had become aware of the triggers and stressors of her life. She had learned to stay away from temptation. She had been able to become the mom her daughter needed her to be. She had met a wonderful sponsor that was always there for her in time of need. She also started a retail business.

One day while checking her bank balance, she found herself with an extra twenty thousand dollars. She was shocked, thinking there was an error she decided to call the bank. The bank explained that someone had deposited the money into her account. They couldn't tell her who and were not able to answer why. Someone had clearly made a mistake, or so she thought. She thought back to the little black book she had found and began to smile. She was thankful and feeling blessed.