About Me

Hi there to all!

Welcome to my first blog post!

Thanks for pressing on my post to read more about me.

Well first, my name is Ariana and I was born and raised in Miami Florida, i have two siblings, two step siblings, I am a Pisces baby, and my favorite color is blue. My favorite number is eight, my humor is what is called sarcastic humor, I enjoy action movies, detective based tv shows, cooking, reading, and studying numerology for fun.

I began writing poetry at the age of twelve when I realized I didn’t have patience to write a novel. I only wrote six chapters and wasn’t impressed with my skills.

(I’m an impatient person with myself too lol)

Once my teacher gave us a poetry assignment I knew where to place my love for writing. Let me take a moment to thank my middle school language arts teacher, miss Aileen Gonzalez, so thanks to her i established my core love and desire for poetry.

I began experiencing symptoms of bipolar depression at the age of eleven. I always had a dark cloud around me and deep profound emptiness and sadness that was confused for shyness. I always wanted to sleep and never wanted to eat or speak.

My first experience of bipolar mania occurred two years later at thirteen. It was during summer school when a phys Ed teacher kept bugging me and verbally harassing me. I blacked out, came to and found out I attacked the teacher. (Shocked? I was too!)

I was diagnosed at 18 but I had always used my poetry to express the feelings of despair, isolation, hopelessness, suicidal thought, anger, fatigue and rage I had. Otherwise I don’t think I would be here today.

I didn’t openly speak about my issues until I started therapy at 17 years old.

Strangely enough my symptoms were mistaken as me being dramatic, extra, or an attention seeker.

This made it harder for me to want to open up to friends, potential friends, or even family members at times.

Between the ages of 17 and 27 years old I’ve had to navigate working, maintaining friendships, having issues with abusing painkillers alcohol problems, emotionally and physically abusive relationships. Dealing with cutting off family members, reestablishing those relationships with family members, losing jobs due to episodes, learning to be sympathetic with myself, forgiving my past, and trying 4 different medications for my illness.

I am still figuring out this whole life thing, why I’m here and my purpose. Being mentally ill can truly hinder my want to dream and shoot for the stars.

A lot of the time growing up I never thought I’d make it past 17 and if I did shoot for something I always assumed I’d be in my grave by now.

Well, enough with the melancholic past story.

Due to Covid I am currently unemployed and looking for an artistic outlet and thus my journey of blogging begins!

What I found hardest in dealing with mental illness and traumatic experiences is being able to dive deep within myself and remembering who I am at my core. My true self can get lost within the whirlwind of bipolar disorder.

My mental illness is my muse and my poetry is my therapy.

If you made it this far , first Thankyou again and secondly I hope you’ll come back to read my poetry and my blogs on my personal experience with bipolar.

(Side note not all poems will be related to my bipolar so stick around for poems on love, heartbreak, friendship, and more.)

- Ariana L