satire
Potent satire, comedy, and all things satirical in the marijuana sphere.
NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS
Did you know that they can spray a distance of 3.5 miles? You wonder why you smell skunk in the house, especially at night. These nocturnal creatures do some of their best work in the evening, and usually the stronger the smell , most likely they are close by. But don't forget to rule out other possibilities, like a natural gas leak. Considering it was early in the morning, and my home is electric, I didn't believe it was a gas leak. Waking up @ 6:30am to begin my day, overwhelmed by the smell of skunk. I panicked thinking that this uninvited guest had inhabited my attic. It didn't seem unlikely, as a bat had taken up residency a few months before. The offensive olfactory odor, was strongest upstairs , as I proved running downstairs, outside to the front and the back of the house, and smelled.....NOTHING!!!. I came back in the house, into the restroom to continue my morning prep routine. As I sat there thinking about HOW a skunk could get into the house, I called upon social media. Some stories indicate that skunks are not the best climbers, yet others indicate that attics and basements are ideal places for them to hide, because they provide shelter from predators. But something stuck out in my memory, that just 2 days before, while driving I noted a dead skunk on the road and the smell gave me an instant headache, as he probably sprayed right before his demise. The odor in my house DID NOT give me that same kind of headache.
Antonia WebberPublished 3 years ago in PotentInjustice and the Gentle Giant
About eighty years ago a giant was framed for murder. The timeline isn't exact but what we do know is this was an inside job stemming from the highest levels of government. With no real evidence of wrong doing this beautiful creature's reputation was dragged through the streets and blasted over the airwaves as the mastermind behind all the evil this country has ever faced. They vehemently professed; she's ruining your lives... her friends must be criminals... she's going to eat your babies and destroy your marriage! Eek!! Surely, a giant that big she has no faith, soul, or positive attributes to offer society.
Carlos WilsonPublished 7 years ago in PotentWhy I Thank Cannabis For My First Class Honours Degree
Cannabis – the class B ‘gateway drug’ is entirely illegal in the United Kingdom, but nonetheless is prevalent in most average British communities. Living in a lower-class neighbourhood in a region planted with four universities within the student run cities of Newcastle, Durham and Sunderland, I was never short of knowing a dealer.
Rosalie KhanPublished 7 years ago in PotentAnatomy of an Active Stoner 3: The Charity Banquet
Previously on Anatomy of an Active Stoner: Episode 1 Episode 2 Saturday night, 7:30 A generic Android ringtone pulls me out of my reverie. I look at the Dr.Dre Chronic 2001 clock on my wall.
My Girl
I said goodbye to an old friend tonight. It’s the best and the worst friend I have ever had. Tonight was our last dance. Our last hurrah. Our last romp, if you will. But I had to let her go. Funny how I said her when clearly, I am into men. But that is how I see my friend. As female. Men don’t always make the best friends. But tonight, we were doing our last hangout. Our last session. She had been there through every relationship. Every high every low, my girl was there. But I realized that while my girl would motivate me, she gave me no follow through. Oh, she could spew ideas, but they were just blurts in her fogged perception.
Stupid Stoner Fails
When going down the list of the funniest stupid stoner fails, you find a few reoccurring patterns. People usually expose themselves to the law by being idiots or doing something incredibly immoral. They paint weed-hued targets on their heads just by ignoring things like common sense.
Bethany TiamatPublished 7 years ago in PotentBest Movies To Watch High
The best movies to watch high aren’t necessarily well-made. In fact, sometimes the funniest movies to watch in that state of mind can be really bad ones. The silly sense of humor that often accompanies pot consumption will make you laugh for hours just because of the stupidity of the film. So what are the best movies to watch high? Read on to find out.
Johnny HashPublished 7 years ago in PotentAlcoholics Anonymous Rejects Medical Marijuana, Almost Supported LSD, and How Joe Rogan Could Have Clipped My Nuts
A few weeks ago I was sitting at my desk, typing away at yet another shit stirring story over the perils of marijuana prohibition, when I received a Twitter notice from one of my readers claiming that comedian and all around wise man Joe Rogan was on the air discussing an article I had written for High Times. Being the curious little bastard that I am, I followed the link and I'll-be-damned, sure as shit, there he was, reading a little piece of journalism I had penned back in 2013 entitled "AA Founder Believed LSD Could Cure Alcoholism."
Mike AdamsPublished 7 years ago in PotentWeed Gifts For 8 Days of Hanukkah
What's a Jewish stoner to do? It's that Hanukkah time of year. Time to consider gift giving for that special toker in your life. Most Rabbis have ruled that marijuana is in point of fact kosher, as long as it has not been baked with pork. That does not mean they approve of its use, but are ruling specifically on the codex. Matisyahu smokes, so it must be kosher. But what really sealed it for me, was Drake. Because Drake is Jewish. His mom is Sandi Graham, a retired teacher. Now she seems really proud of her Jewish son, and he sure smokes pot.
How to Bogart a Joint
Since I was a kid, smoking pot behind the gym in high school, I can always remember being the guy that had to be reminded to pass the joint. It wasn't that I was selfish, I was just stoned. I would sometimes tune out, until someone would inevitably tell me to pass the joint. There were no vapes back then, and I still enjoy a fine rolled joint from Willies Reserve. It was called a bogart because Humphrey Bogart always had a cigar dangling from his mouth.
Randy CobernPublished 7 years ago in PotentMarijuana Ads of the Future from the Past
The way things are going, buying marijuana will soon be as easy as buying alcohol or cigarettes. It will be interesting to see how marijuana will be advertised once it is federally legalized. There are innumerable approaches that can be taken in marketing pot. Will it be treated as if it's a health product, like aspirin? Or will it be toted as a recreational product and sold to the public like sounds systems or games? Maybe it will be packaged as exotica, like perfume. Or a status symbol, like an expensive automobile. The possibilities are endless.
Wendy WeedlerPublished 7 years ago in PotentFinding Marijuana in Colombia
There's a strange sensation of timelessness, seeing modern planes engulfed in a sea of museum relics in the Colombian airport. It's questionable whether or not these remnants from the past are capable of bouncing down the runway and soaring into the wild blue yonder.
Randy CobernPublished 8 years ago in Potent