NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS

Did you know that they can spray a distance of 3.5 miles? You wonder why you smell skunk in the house, especially at night. These nocturnal creatures do some of their best work in the evening, and usually the stronger the smell , most likely they are close by. But don't forget to rule out other possibilities, like a natural gas leak. Considering it was early in the morning, and my home is electric, I didn't believe it was a gas leak. Waking up @ 6:30am to begin my day, overwhelmed by the smell of skunk. I panicked thinking that this uninvited guest had inhabited my attic. It didn't seem unlikely, as a bat had taken up residency a few months before. The offensive olfactory odor, was strongest upstairs , as I proved running downstairs, outside to the front and the back of the house, and smelled.....NOTHING!!!. I came back in the house, into the restroom to continue my morning prep routine. As I sat there thinking about HOW a skunk could get into the house, I called upon social media. Some stories indicate that skunks are not the best climbers, yet others indicate that attics and basements are ideal places for them to hide, because they provide shelter from predators. But something stuck out in my memory, that just 2 days before, while driving I noted a dead skunk on the road and the smell gave me an instant headache, as he probably sprayed right before his demise. The odor in my house DID NOT give me that same kind of headache.

The teenager woke up exited the bedroom, and I directed her downstairs to use the facilities. As she made her way down the stairs, I made my way into her bedroom, allowing my snout to decipher the obnoxious odor. After sniffing my way through the room, and corroborating with my nose and the teenager that the smell was not coming from there, I got dressed and headed out to work. The entire work day, my honker tricked my brain into believing that I could still smell the noxious odor, and my mind couldn't concentrate on anything but the source of the smell. When work ended I returned home in search of...the odor. The bedroom and I were at odds about invading the "teenager's" personal space. Considering she had previous offences, the THC pipe, chargers and adapters to a vaping tool and the "accidental" ordering of 1 ml Strawberries and cream vaping liquid, nothing was off limits. Privacy, smivacy was revoked when she was found guilty of other offences. Starting with the bed, I looked under the mattress, under the bed, all over the desk, finally making my way to the closet. I attacked that closet with fervor and purpose, searching and sniffing, until my honker happened upon the source of the smell. In the pocket of her High School hoodie:1 cigar-like item, 1 filter tip, and 2 skunk smell impersonating buds of prime marijuana. Now I am not against the usage of marijuana by consenting adults, I'm against the usage of it, in my house by my underage teen. I confiscated the paraphernalia, took pictures for proof and put it aside for the confrontation to come later.

Cannabis contains myrcene, a terpene component, that is found in other plants. Many terpenes can create the "skunky" smell. The stronger the smell, the more potent and usually more expensive. Skunks spray out a thiol, which contains sulfur, which gives it that delightful smell..not. It also contains methyl, butanethiol, carbon and hydrogen. Although skunk and marijuana have different components, they both give off similar malodorous nocturnal emissions or diurnal smells. You wouldn't want either in your house.

I'm grateful to report I DO NOT have a skunk mammal in the attic, I do have a skunky mammal in the bedroom, which is now minus 1 door, liars do not deserve privacy. Her privileges have been revoked no headphones, debit card, cash. She is on lockdown, with the exception of working at her part time job. The room will continue to be searched, as well as the attic ,should any other suspicious smells arise. Your house can be a wealth of knowledge, as I learned something new about skunks and marijuana. So don't be afraid to explore, using all your senses to weed out the skunks.