you never tell

one night you awake with a start

no different from any other night

your breath is cold

hanging brightly in the air

your body heavy with sweat

you remember what day it is

the words form at the back of your throat

like they need to come out

stronger as you pass loved ones in the hall

you know you shouldn't

so you don't

if that twisted thing, your twisted thing

didn't rear it's head every now and then

would you still be you?

i wouldn't

it smells the guilt

maybe your treasure is safe with it after all

it is in fact only yours

you do not forgive yourself

you may not ever forgive yourself

this is only yours

this is only yours

you do not speak it out loud

you cannot bear for it to

fall on someone else's shoulders.