Worst Enemy

I am in fact

My own worst enemy.

Twisting my Insecurities

Like a knife in my heart,

The heaviness I feel won't ever subside

A constant weight to carry

Like the death of a pet.

So helpless to quiet the inner monologue

A silky sweet smoke-ridden voice

Thick with syrup, but nails on the chalkboard

It twists the truth to entertain its dark tales.

I am in fact my own worst enemy

Stuck in the dark reaches

A pit of despair

5 years taken off each time it opens its mouth

Each time I wish the stinging would vanish.

The wrenching of my heart

the heaviness of my stomach,

The stinging in my eyes,

I wish it would all just disappear

But the voice tells me

It tells me I am better off gone

Reiterating the echoes of the past-

Telling me I am not enough

The wrenching in my chest, twisting my heart

the stinging in my eyes and the heaviness in my stomach

It all builds

The voice inside me reminding me

I am my own worst enemy

I know this though,

never have time to forget.

And I still wish I would disappear.