Why I Enter

Sometimes

my body tries

to weep-tremble-scream-hyperventilate

at the same time

and then

my surrender to the Goddess

is not with intention

but from exhaustion

stretched beyond strained dimensions

a mirage of mind mid-melt

tortured patterns of cyclical deficiency

layered in tenths of millimeters

over musculoskeletal framework

Deep cisterns

of fought-away tears

that had to go somewhere

when my inner self became a stranger

befriended danger

and engaged kamikaze-style shame humiliation sessions about it

Always my heart

pinned to the dissection tray

since what else could the world take away from me

as I’ve shunned earthly pleasures

digital measures

and a sacrosanct constitution

that brands me a blasphemer

Where is the 'me' left

that would revel in the label

laugh and license this status

as the epitome of hard-won defiance

with evidence-based validation

I wish she were here…

… amid escaped murmurs of

“Crime to be this tired...”

a tattooed script on each limb

as I fall

—ephemeral faith

and final offering—

omen

The Goddess Omniscient

She holds time in her temple

like an elite array of adornments

among ancient secrets

Removes from me all that does not sing

Reveals covert chronic afflictions

Runs handfuls of warm ocher along fatigued flesh

Restores etheric balance deep inside

Reassures soul

that lost is not a perennial state

and that eternal peace

does exist

this side of heaven

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