Why can't I forget him?

I sit in my lonely room wanting to be numb from the pain.

I want to be able to not look for him on every platform we shared.

I want to be able to live one day without him crossing my mind.

I find myself sneaking peaks into his life on live, just to make sure he is okay.

Every smile on his face breaks me even more.

I just want my heart to be at peace to stop hurting.

He broke me when he told everyone that lie about me.

But I can not seem to make myself hate him.

I have already forgiven him for the lie I just want my friend back.

That is all I wish for late at night to talk to my friend.

Will it ever happen I do not know. All I can do is dream of the day.

He was my best friend, we could talk about any and everything.

If I could not sleep he talked to me until I sleep...If he needed to just vent I was there anytime of the day.

But live streaming fame made his ego huge and his groupies disliked me.

So they tainted his mind against me.

So all I can do is wait for the day that he realizes what he did which that day may never come.

So for now all I can do is sit here go through life and realizing the fact that some where along the way I fell in love with my best friend and now I am lost without him.