Whimpering Sorrow

I no longer want to cry on the phone ,

I just want to be left alone.

I rather suffer in secrecy than let someone prey on my vulnerability.

I’ve been holding in so much this past few weeks,

If only someone could hear the tears sizzling down my burning cheeks.

I’m so worn out and I feel my soul deteriorating a little more everyday ,

I just wish someone with big arms would hold me and tell me I’m here and you’re going to be okay.

I can say all my problems but behind the walls there’s a secrecy that can not be unfold ,

When I leave from here maybe it will be told .

I might be just this imperfect hot mess that always looks good on the outside,

But behind the walls are as dark as my heart just like when I have no one by my side .

I keep yearning for this void to be filled by something I can’t explain,

No medicine ,sex , alcohol, or money can even solve it it’s insane .

I can’t imagine what answers I might be seeking in my life,

But I’m still fighting back the urge to pick up the blade and give my wrist a slice .

No pain will be felt,

I’m just trying to wake up from the life I’ve been dealt .

Maybe I should just runaway and figure things out as I go,

I might be imperfect but my determination will always outweigh any oppression that may come before me.

I could lose everything today but the only thing that matters if someone took the lonely.