Wanna Burn Some Calories With Me?

He had an idiot’s face, a rat’s eyes, and a buffalo’s body

She had a harlot’s face, a cat’s eyes, and a sow’s belly

He wasn’t handsome and he darn well knew it

She was told she was ugly but she didn’t believe it

His pills gave him the confidence he needed to overcome his shortcomings

Her booze gave her the diligence she needed to muster her forthcomings

👀👀

Their gaze met lovingly across the meat counter at the local market

Barely able to breathe, he told her, “You look pretty meaty yourself!”

She took that as a compliment

Naturally

He had never, ever had balls so blue…

Her heartbeat-setting on SEETHE, she told him, “You look like Trouble Itself!”

He took that as a testament

of her inability to make vital decisions

Competently

She loved his Orson Welles tattoo…

🥩

He bought seven pounds of roast beef and hard salami

She purchased three loaves of bread and sliced Swiss cheese

When they saw they were each buying the same brand of hot sauce,

they shared a joyful sneeze

💳🧾

In the U-Serve check-out line,

he swiped his card for her purchases,

and then she offered to make him sandwiches.

🔪🔪🔪

Back at her place, she flaunted her kitchen knives

He wasn’t that impressed

He freely admitted it was guns that made him feel alive

That confession didn’t make her wet

They both questioned their capability

but not their sincerity

to lessen and enlighten their combined associated heavyset

🏴🏴‍☠️🏴

A pirate flag hung over her beckoning black bed

The skull above the crossbones filled him with dread

It took an eternity to reveal their immensity

but then the crudity of their eventual nudity

⚡ hit like a lightning-shot thunderhead ⚡⚡

once all their tent-like clothes were finally shed

🫂

“You distract me from craving tacos and ass-whoop beer.”

“You’ve given me ample cause to wallow ever deeper in my fears!”

“Let me move this out of your way for easier access.”

“No matter where you move it, I already feel like I’m blessed!”

🛏️

They were starving

but they really didn’t care

Their greater need was for a sexual summation

They were screaming

like they just took a devil’s dare

Their primal deed ignited a fleshy conflagration

The smash and the broil and the steam of the fat-burn was hotter than they could bare

Evaporating juices, roasting flab, sizzling hair

🔥🔥🔥🔥

“You know I like to make excuses in my life!”

“You know I’m a bitch who enjoys creating strife!”

“Clearly, I’m the problem!”

“No, I’m the problem!”

“Let me know how you really feel!”

“I’m trying to, but you make it hard Keeping It Real!”

“Now, you’re just showing out!”

“Who am I showing out for?”

“You look like a pussy when you pout!”

“You’re the one down on all fours!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“You!”

“Go off, baby doll!”

“No, YOU go off—”

Like human eruptions, their bodies burst apart

🎇💥💥BADDA-BOOM!!! 💥💥🎇

!! went the fireballs ❤️‍🔥🔗❤️‍🔥 of their entangled hearts!!

Blobs of their former selves splattered in every direction! 💧💧💧🌫️

dousing their bedroom blaze 🌫️🌫️

(The clean-up took days 🧽🪣🧽🪣🧽)

🚿

Once they had showered,

they both lapsed back into a hunger haze.

🪞🪞

Looking ebulliently at the leaner, meaner forms they had built

They knew they could finally eat hardily without any guilt!

👹🍽️👿

⚡ After they had feasted...

... like gluttonous demons...

.......

.................

“Sorry for talking shit."

"Pardon me for recording it!"

"I was just trying to show you I was stimulated.”

“And I was just trying to let you know I did feel appreciated.”

“That's funny... 🤷‍♂️ because now I’m feeling hurt!”

“Really? ❤️😈⚡ What’s for dessert?”

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Thank you kindly for your support!

____________________Bolt⚡