turn away bright eyes
before I have to close mine
to shut out the light
stripping my masquerade
.
turn away bright eyes
before I have to run
I can feel this pressure
erasing my defences
.
turn away bright eyes
before the tears begin
I need you to stop
decalcifying my heart
.
turn away bright eyes
before this dam wall bursts
I can feel your truth
crumbling my embankment
.
turn away bright eyes
the intensity is searing
I can’t afford to lose my balance
and the floods are nearing
.
turn away bright eyes
your light is too potent
I am cowardly of love and
vulnerability has awoken
.
turn away bright eyes
leave me in the black
I can’t stand your gleaming light
exposing every part
.
turn away bright eyes
this dam was built with reason
I encased my fear behind these walls
to never have to feel it
.
turn away bright eyes
your fire is scalding
it’s illuminating glare
evaporating my illusion
.
turn away bright eyes
but please don’t go too far
for although I can’t look into them
I also cannot part
.
turn away bright eyes
return me to the dark
but of your light would you mind
to leave me just a spark?
.
.
.
I thought I’d try to write this without rhyming ✨ Which proved impossible. So instead I tried less rhyming. ✨ Which was arguably all harder than writing it with a rhyme! ✨ My mind likes to rhyme. ✨ Must be the ancestral incantations in my blood memory 😉 Thank goodness we are in 2022…2023! ✨ I would have been burned at the stake in years past. I actually think all of us poets would have been!✨
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lust for coconuts
This sounded like a fun challenge to try. I’ve put the link at the bottom and I hope you will also give it a go! I spent way, way longer on this than intended and came up with way too many variations….now all I can think about is milky, juicy coconuts…. 😅
By Kayleigh Fraser ✨8 months ago in Poets
Comments (12)
Wow, Kayleigh. "turn away bright eyes before the tears begin I need you to stop decalcifying my heart" The concept of tears "decalcifying" anything is on its own incredible. I can't fathom how you came up with that. To me, this stanza is at the heart of your poem's theme. When I read it, I paused, struck by that image. Telling your tears to stop, because they're healing you. Refusing the healing of catharsis, for fear that you won't be able to stop, is definitely relatable, but the way you do it here feels more profound. Fantastically written.
Wonderful. Love the ending.
Intense and satisfying. Your repeated line brings Bonnie Tyler to mind, which isn't a bit detrimental for me!
That last stanza felt so natural though, when you let the rhyme come! My only problem with this Bonnie Tyler kept singing over your work in my head.
Mostly just the women poets would have been burned. The men would have been the ones so threatened they felt they had no choice but to condemn them. Autistic. I find it uncomfortable whenever someone is looking at me, & shudder with embarrassment whenever someone discovers me looking at them. Knowing how upbeat you tend to be, Kayleigh, I cannot help but think that this might actually resonate more for me than it does even for you. That inability to bear the light we long so desperately to know is there is me through & through. Thank you for writing this & sharing it with us & for putting that extra effort into it. I would say that it shows, but I can't as this flows seamlessly & effortlessly for me. Beautiful job.
I adore every part of this poem!! It's one of my favourites 💛
Beautifully written in words and content, with the touch of rhyming working out nicely. Really connects with impact, and I loved it. Small suggestion would be to vary slightly the first line of each stanza. For a shorter poem the re-iteration works well, but for this longer one a little bit of subtle variance would be good. Turn away, bright eyes.... Bright eyes, please close.... look back, bright eyes.... etc...tailored for each stanza. Just a suggestion. 💙Anneliese
Love this! The descriptions of the eyes are so vivid to me <3
Oh wow, I learned from your replies to Rachel that this wasn't from your perspective! I'm definitely the one to run away from bright eyes, lol. Also, I find it so amazing that it's so easy for you to rhyme! I find that so difficult 😅 But I have a cousin who's just like you. Rhyming is like a second nature to both of you!
SO GOOD ❤️
Omg🥹🥹🥹 i was shocked to read that this wasnt written from ur perspective, it was illustrated so well. My mind likes to rhyme too. That ancestral magic tho ✨😎
The uncertainty of love. I felt your need and fear in this. It's scary to open up.