To: You | Fr: Me

To: You

Fr: Me

People say that not everyone you meet will be by your side forever. It was because people are bound to change and then eventually leave. I know that I've always believed that but somewhere deep inside of me, I was hoping that people wouldn't change or leave — or at least you. I even hoped that people can just leave but not change because I feared changed that much. I feared that the people that I was used to would get up one morning and then completely realize that I'm nothing to them. That's when change happens. But then again, another part of me hoped that no one would leave. That when you enter my life, you just stay.

Well, that's what I thought.

You entered my life but only took a step closer to me. That one step caused you to pause and just stayed where you were. You took your time. You didn't make any step to being closer to me for another three years. This time, the one step before turned to a few more. You kept going and going until you were only a step away from my heart.

You were completely aware of the key to that one door no one succeeded in opening. You knew that you held that key within you. You knew that you were the only one who could open it. But you didn't. You didn't open it. You just decided that since you have the key in your possession, you might as well play with it. You played with the key and even with the door. Every once in a while, you would enter the key inside the knob and then turn it but would not fully open the door. Until one day, you finally had the courage to open that door.

Once you were inside, you doubted. You doubted whether you were already inside or the room you were in was fake. You doubted if you really had the right key to the right door. You doubted everything.

I couldn't assure you of what was inside because I myself didn't know. I just knew that there were a lot of things in there, a lot of feelings and emotions well hidden. I was confused myself.

Then you decided that it was too much.

Before I could even decipher what was inside, before I could even tell you what was inside, you left.

You left. You left and didn't keep your promises. You didn't make a lot of promises but each weighed like a thousand. It was why it had so much effect on me. It was what affected me the most.

You leaving.

You leaving after unlocking the door and entering only to find that what was inside wasn't what you wanted.

I guess the joke's on me.

I've made a lot of letters about you and for you. But none of them ever seem to reach you. It's because I don't want them to. I don't want you to know the overwhelming feelings and emotions you've put me through. I don't want you to know the truth.

Maybe that's the only way that I can get back at you for everything.

Or maybe not.

Maybe one day you'll have your hands on this letter and you'll get to read it.

Or maybe not.

Maybe one day you'll finally know all the things you made feel.

Or maybe not.

Maybe, just maybe one day you'll finally have answers to your questions and you'll be able to understand.

Just maybe.

So, here's the truth.

I will always believe in you that you can do it. That all your dreams and wishes will come true. That you will be genuinely happy because that's what you deserve. I will always defend you because I know that whatever they say, it's not true. I know the real you. I've seen, felt and proved it. You're not what they say you are. You're different. I will always be on your side.

I'm sorry for wasting your love. I'm sorry for wasting your time and efforts. I'm sorry for always saying that I don't believe you. I'm sorry for letting you see that I'm not good enough for you. I'm sorry for being so pathetic that I can't tell you how I really feel. I'm sorry that I made you tired. I'm sorry that I made you cry because of the words I uttered.

I'm always here. I'll listen to you. I'll defend you. I'll believe in you. Just look back, I'm here. I will always be here.

I miss you everyday. I'm always here, and I love you so much.