The Soliloquy

I plan to tell you,

I know not when

The near future it seems… best,

But our world’s move fast.

Different tracks o’er take us.

August’s stars will see these words.

Now to decide and debate

The intricacies of this detail.

The other side of my mind brings thoughts,

Maybe my heart is confused,

But my resolve is final.

I know he moves me...

He moves me to the core.

And so I move to find the words…

The phrases and the truth.

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All these thoughts in my head

You told me not to have

So I hide them

Like I hide the best parts of me

It’s hard to find the balance

Fear and Love

Those are the things which make me hide

It’s irony at its finest

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The wine is gone again

It helps me calm the storm in my mind

It helps me forget that you don't want me

That you don't talk to me anymore

I know you're busy but you totally lock me out

It lets my mind wander to a time

To a time where you used to talk to me

We connected and it was wonderful

We could think of so many things to say

But now it's dead silence

It is like the rest of my life

I exist to transfer people from the beginning through the trials

I connect the hard spot to the safe spot

And when someone has reached their destination

I am no longer needed

I can disappear into the dark alone

Life moves forward without me

If I try to linger and stay somehow I cause chaos

I see the good in everyone

I try to connect people

Somehow everyone leaves me

I make their consciousness in their conscience open

And they take it out on me

They can never see the truth and I get blamed

So I get pushed away and closed off

The good news is they usually end up happy

In a world that I don't exist or belong in

And I feel I am starting again

After I have been wiped from your assistance

This empty cycle drains my soul

Yet I would give anything to see you happy

My flaws are my greatest weakness

Sometimes I wish I didn't understand how

To unconditionally love another being