The Paradox

I am a paradox,

I am both the waves and the rocks,

Crashing into myself treading water,

Try to drown out the thoughts,

But the demons are like rocks sinking further inside of me,slowly eating away until my core rots,

To feel everything and nothing all at once is a curse,

And I'm not sure which feeling is worse,

Anxiety is a loaded gun shooting intrusive thoughts like bullets into my brain,

Some days I think I'd be better off dead,

Then continuing to fight wars inside my head,

Anxiety is a brick wall,

The bricks are made of fear, covered in hate stuck together with self-doubt,

Wearing itself out,

And all I have to take it down is a bottle of pills,

I look for myself in all the wrong places,

Try on all these different faces,

I am a wandering lost soul,

Looking for something to make me feel whole,