The Ghost of Your Past

There’s a secret in the shadows

There’s writing on the walls

Words etched in blood

Tapestries shredded

by the claws of a beast

That can’t be contained

Does it help the pain

To scream into the void

And hear your screams echoed back

Your agony multiplied a thousand times over

Relieving you of your hurt

By inflicting it onto others

Does it help that every day

I think of you

I hold on to hope

That you’ve moved on

Forgotten me

What I did

What I’ve done

While I stand here

The tendrils of the past still gripping me tightly

Seeing your faces every night

Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you

I wish I had the words

To tell you I’m sorry

That hurt people, hurt people

That what was done in a manic episode

Wasn’t really me

That the person I was in the shadows

Is not the person I am now

I don’t know how to tell you

That I hold on to my regrets

As close as a mother

Clings to her newborn babe

I don’t know how to tell you

That the shame I feel is enough

That even the demons in the rectory

Would show me pity

If I came to the confessional

And that even after decades past

I feel it breathe in me

Freshly afraid

And I have to wonder

Am I still the monster in your closet?

A cautionary tale

Turned legend

Or have you moved on

And made a world for yourself

Unhindered by me

The ghost of your past