The Darkness That Lurks Behind The Smile

The Darkness That Lurks Behind The Smile

Disclaimer: This poem is dark and it deals with mental health issues. It can be triggering to some. Reader discretion is advised.

I wanted to die.

It was never a lie.

Every night when the moon

was up in the sky,

I prayed that I’ll never wake

to see another day.

I wanted to die.

Although I would lie

to myself every day

that my life was more profound

and my existence was significant.

I wanted to die.

I have tried.

More than I was willing to admit.

I hid behind smiles

because I couldn’t bear the thought

to be the reason for someone’s

agony and pain.

I wanted to die.

I wish I didn’t.

But sometimes the darkness gets too much

even for me to handle.

I struggle to stay present.

I keep lying.

I keep trying.

Just so people won’t stop smiling.

So they won’t feel my suffering.

I want to die.

But maybe I truly don’t.

Because if I’m gone

then I will no longer

see them smile.

I want to die.

This is the darkness that lurks

behind the smiles.

I wish it’s a lie.

I guess I’ll just have to try.

---

Hi, I'm CyCy!

Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate it!

This is the sixth poem from The Darkness That Lurks Behind the Smiles - Six Part Poem Series. I also want to note that I am okay and have a support system.

These poems reflect parts of my life and the struggles with my mental health. I find that writing these poems is cathartic and therapeutic. It allows me to voice out and address the darkness that lurks inside my mind.

Thank you for being a part of my journey and life. I truly appreciate you all.

If you also ever feel that the darkness is too much, please remember that you are never truly alone, okay? Please do not be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help does not make you weak or any less. YOU are WONDERFUL. Please remember that.

1. I Am Not Okay

2. The Monster In Your Head

3. The Other Side

4. Don't Talk To Strangers

5. As Long As They’re Happy

6. The Darkness That Lurks Behind The Smile

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Anyway, other than me fangirling about anime, books, comics, and shows/movies that I watch, I usually create darker content, whether art, video shorts, or stories. If this is something that you also enjoy, let's be friends :)

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