Tension with Me

I have been thinking what it was going to be like,

to see you again after all this time,

Would I see you and remember our last night,

Or was I overthinking, and everything would be fine,

Would I fall right back into those eyes,

feel instantly comfortable as if I never left,

Would I have to look at your face and deny,

that seeing you for me was a test,

I can't lie,

at least not to you,

I was questioning if this was right,

If my intentions for both parties were true,

Was I meeting you just as a friend,

should I be meeting you at all,

Where does my current relationship stand,

Should I be questioning my call,

But here you sit,

Across the table from me,

My avoidance of eye contact is easily seen,

I claim it under comfortability,

But I know if you were to really see,

my eyes,

You could see something in me I can't deny,

something that still applies to you,

and the confusion that lingers with my someone new,

I could feel the tension across the table,

Your understanding of me makes me feeble,

Because it points out something in me, I already know,

that my connection with this current bow,

has not the connection I need to make it grow,

That the tension between us may still be there,

But it's not something I need to go backwards to share,

that you may understand me,

But you are still not what I need,

But neither is he, sadly.