'SURVIVAL OF THE TRUTH'
"TALKING TO ANGELS OF LOVE IN VAN"
This is reflection of a true story in the week of the summer solstice moon upon arrival in LA June 16, 2016. Now I can reflect as I need to sing again, love again, and talk to my angels of light. I rode the train back to LA, through many miles over mountains and deserts. I kissed the ground when I got back to LA.
I woke up one morning
in a beach bungalow
in mourning
as my ex of many years ago
told me
a sad truth of demise
of our 11 year relationship.
It had to be
a word from the wise
red flags can hide
inside
a love bombing guy
or girl
of a swirl
of rainbows,
caresses and kisses,
then one day after 11 years
I cried many tears
as we were together but apart.
So he broke my heart.
But I was there come rain or shine
as we drank the wine
of yesterday's swine
of lies and the web of the dark,
moon of the monsoon
in the fishing village of a part
of the Gulf stream of the bay
of yesterday.
I t was long ago now.
I ask myself now,
"How did I stay so long
as I continued to sing my song
of light and dark
in the park?"
We meet a date
out of fate,
introduced by a friend.
So it would seem
that life works out.
That is what it's all about.
So I think about
the meeting at the grocery store,
not a bar.
How could I not see so far
into years of lies,
infidelity
to me?
"Not once did I leave
the crows nest of his demon bed,"
I said.
Well, after 11 years of tears,
I now think about the fun times
of our relationship of 11 years.
He smiled at me,
moving his stuff in with me.
Guess it had to be.
My black cat, Maggie May
warned me of his demon.
What'd I say
today?
I sway 2,000 miles from his den
of inequity of infidelity
of when
he told me
it has to be.
I packed my bags to move,
get in the groove
as he moved his girlfriend of 38 years old
into his den I was told.
Covert narcissistic pig,
I now have a new gig.
I am in my home near LA.
What'd I say?
Today
I remember those words
he said to me that one morning in May.
As I awoke to my light and my bird
singing to me as if to say that day,
sleeping with the enemy
I was.
He looked at me
as he lay beside me,
as our love was no more.
Making love
as it was a reflection of habit of the decade.
I lay there sighing.
I placed my hands on top of my head,
thinking, "Why the fuck am I still in this bed?"
He sat on the side of the bed,
raised his arms up over his head,
and he said,
"All I see when I awake
are demons all round me dear.
I look at you, and you have angels
all around you year after year."
I should never have slept in his den of demons.
I would rather sleep with lemons
to suck on
with salt
than expand in his reflections
of demonic presence of evil thought.
I left one summer day
arriving back in LA
on June 16, 2016
of the full moon of the summer solstice
of desire and a kiss to the ground
as I surround myself with all around,
angels by my side
at ebb tide,
the time of the solstice moon
of not gloom
as I sigh.
No more mornings with
covert narcissist of the width
of a football field
of despair.
The moon is bright,
the night
of June 16, 2016,
as my eyes gleam
with a pain in my heart
that has taken years
to look back without tears
in the angel of light
of the full moon of that night
back in LA.
The city of angels is my fate
as of late,
as I write
with peace, hope,
and love
to bless all
as I awake now alone
with the chirps of my parakeet,
Sweetie,
singing and tweeting sweet songs.
Written by
VICKI LAWANA TRUSSELLI
FEBRUARY 13, 2024
I traveled by Amtrak train back to LA with three suitcases in my possession. I had my laptop, my camera, and my Xbox. As I stepped off the train I looked around the train station in downtown LA, sighed, said to myself, "I am home! Back in LA, far away form the Texas cowboy."
I was 66 years old and it was devastating. I had decorated the dude's bungalow. All my love was in vain. My son told me it was my gypsy soul that carried me home and moving back to LA on the train. I called an Uber to take me to a friends apartment in North Hollywood.
So many stories to write about, life happens.
Now it's 2024. I still have a rock n roll heat gypsy soul of sorts at 74 years old.
Not afraid to love again.
About the Creator
Vicki Lawana Trusselli
I worked for the music and film industry in Los Angeles, California and Austin, Texas. I studied nursing, journalism, art, film, and computers in college. I am an empath, Virgo; Leo moon rising, born on the cusp of Libra. Peace Out!
Comments (8)
This is great. Well done and thanks for sharing your story.
Beautiful Vicki, thank you so much for sharing your story with us! Perfect, song pairing might I add. You could feel both the twinge of pain but also the glory in the escape and following that gypsy soul and your angels. Much love to you Vicki, keep on keeping on, can't wait to read more of your stories. <3
This was brilliant
Oh wow, this certainly changes my perception of alot of things. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
Wow! And how, quite the experience there! Please take care! ❤️
Powerful poetic expose of the complexities of love. Beautifully written
Oh, this was well written to be sure, those questions you ask, many of those before have too. I often wonder how I also stayed in "the crows nest of his demon bed". Love makes you do weird things.
Nice work! Well written❣️never be afraid to love again! 💖💜