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Sunday Morning Blues

Slant Rhyme

By D.K. ShepardPublished 2 months ago 1 min read
Runner-Up in Snacktime Sonata Challenge
20
Sunday Morning Blues
Photo by nikldn on Unsplash

Sunday morning, I plod downstairs, barely

awake, then slump into a kitchen chair.

Dad’s specialty, pancakes with blueberries.

He heats the stove and whisks lumpy batter,

then pours some creamy puddles on the pan.

First two, for me and my sleepy sister.

Once bubbles pop, form pocks, and edges tan,

it’s slide, then twist and flip, farewell craters,

doughy dimples now changed to golden brown.

I grab a knife and smear on soft butter

then drizzle syrup on top, let it run down-

from corn - my dad would like maple better,

but it’s mom who shops and she likes Karo.

Funny though that mom’s a choir member,

only early coffee for sopranos,

who need airy notes to reach the rafters.

There’s compromise in cartons of berries

mom buys each week from our local Kroger.

Once they were out of stock. A tragedy!

I suggested some chocolate chips. “Never!”

was dad’s response, an act of sacrilege,

it’s those indigo orbs or disaster.

From their chilly haven inside the fridge

to warm purple paint pods, rich lavender

when burst by curved fork tines making

pancake palettes to stain Corelle platters.

Our tradition, dirty dishes, swirling

patterns of juice in sticky sweet layers.

One week later I’ve packed and moved to school,

back to my Sewanee mountain, sister’s

gone to Berry, two southern campus jewels.

Our parents first year as empty nesters.

Sunday morning dad calls, no blueberries,

no mouths to feed without yawning daughters,

settled for ice cold milk over Wheaties,

one bowl, one mug inside the dishwasher.

Family
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About the Creator

D.K. Shepard

Character Crafter, Witty Banter Enthusiast, World Builder, Unpublished novelist...for now

Fantasy is where I thrive, but I like to experiment with genres for my short stories. Currently employed as a teacher in Louisville.

dkshepard.com

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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Comments (23)

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  • angela hepworth3 days ago

    I loved your dad’s mention of chocolate chips as sacrilege haha, amazing work!

  • Lily Séjorabout a month ago

    Congrats, DK. I have a question. Was the tradition revived on occasional visits?

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • Lacy Loar-Gruenlerabout a month ago

    D.K., just had to stop by and say congratulations on the Snacktime Sonata Challenge win! I read it again and loved it even more!!

  • Christy Munsonabout a month ago

    Congratulations, D.K, on your placement in the Snacktime Sonata challenge! Richly deserved. I have so many emotions as a result of reading this. Took me on a journey through all the feelings. One mug in the dishwasher... sobbing.... Again, congratulations!

  • Lamar Wigginsabout a month ago

    Congratulations, D.K.!!! I really loved this line: 'it’s slide, then twist and flip, farewell craters, doughy dimples now changed to golden brown.' 🤩 The salivation has begun!

  • TheSpinstress2 months ago

    "rich lavender when burst by curved fork tines making pancake palettes..." is such a beautiful description. I can really feel the empty-nest sensation at the end, too. This is a wonderful poem.

  • Joe O’Connor2 months ago

    This was a great read D.K. Your imagery is so rich across this piece, and I love all the little things that make this your family ritual. “ it’s those indigo orbs or disaster.” is such a unique and original way of putting it! Your really have a way with descriptions 👏 Love the gentle emotion behind this too.

  • That was really good and I’m so hungry for pancakes

  • Farhat Naseem2 months ago

    Sunday is love

  • This poem captures weekend mornings so well that I feel like I can smell my childhood pancakes topped with strawberries. The entire poem builds up to the last few lines so well, driving home the evolution of families. Really beautiful poem.

  • Sorry for my ignorance but may I know what is Karo? 😅 Loved your poem!

  • L.C. Schäfer2 months ago

    That ending hits!

  • Lacy Loar-Gruenler2 months ago

    D.K. What a lovely slice of life before you and your sister went off to college. Food is always a uniter and makes so many moments memorable. Sunday was the morning we got pancakes after church, so your poem brought back memories for me, too. Great job!

  • Dana Crandell2 months ago

    You broke an old man's heart here, DK! Brought back vivid memories of pancake breakfasts with my kids. Beautifully written!

  • Moe Radosevich2 months ago

    I’m hungry for blueberry pancakes, nice vision inducing poem 😊😊

  • Esala Gunathilake2 months ago

    I felt that it was a true story regarding my own family. Greatly done!

  • Hannah Moore2 months ago

    What a way to evoke a turning point, beautifully done.

  • Paul Stewart2 months ago

    Ah, stunning work as usual DK...I really felt the sadness of change in the last few lines...after all that beautiful togetherness. Such is life. Beautifully expressed and love the rhymes so much. Great job!

  • Rachel Deeming2 months ago

    A wonderful picture of pancakes and the associations you have with them. Is the blues because of the fruit or blues because of your father settling for Wheaties once you've gone? Because it seems a warm piece of poetry for a blues? I'm getting love from it mainly although maple syrup is better, there's no doubt.

  • Aw… poor sad, left behind Dad!😢😵‍💫… What a let down after delectable freshly made pancakes… well told✅

  • Test2 months ago

    Great poem!

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