"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" You say.
As if saying those words makes it all go away.
It's my fault. I did this. I provoked you. It's true
I'm tired. Exhausted. I don't know what to do.
I've forgiven. I've moved on. I've dropped it. Let go.
You won't do it again. We'll move past this, I know.
For awhile, it's amazing. I build you up all around.
but it won't last for long. You'll burn it all to the ground.
Tell me I'm fragile. I'm delicate. I need your protection.
Shower me with gifts, flowers, and words of affection.
When we are outside, you put on a good show.
But what happens inside, you want no one to know.
Do you even feel shame when you push me around?
Feels like I'm screaming inside but not making a sound.
But you're sorry. Remember? It won't happen again
Don't leave. Don't give up. This will not be the end.
I can't speak. Can't have friends. How dare I wear that dress?!
Can't keep a journal. Can't make calls... but there's no need to stress.
Shut up. Look happy. Walk right. Don't dare fall.
Tell the world I'm your everything while you make me feel small.
Working on all your muscles, it's for me! Don't I know?
Never allowed to say what you use them for though.
But you don't really hit me. You just push me. It's fine.
'Cause my body is yours, right? It's never been mine.
Fighting back, speaking up, it just makes it all worse.
Is this love? Is this right? It feels more like a curse.
My eyes feel so heavy. I can never get sleep.
I toss and I turn. I know I'm in too deep.
What did I say? Who did I tell? Why can't I keep my mouth shut?!
It's nobody's business! We've just hit a rut.
They don't love me like you do. They don't care about me.
You're the only support I have, why can't I see?
I mustn't tell anyone. Wouldn't dare even mention
They only want one thing, my time and attention.
"You can't leave! I will bury you if you even try!"
"Test me! Give it a go, if you think that's a lie!"
"I did nothing wrong! It was your fault, not me!"
"You provoked me! You pushed! Should've just let it be!"
You can yell. Slam the doors. You can leave when you want.
Say whatever you like. Push me. Smile and taunt.
You can choke me. Raise fists at me. Scream in my face
I just need to let go. Hit rewind. Just... erase.
"Don't you dare bring up the past! That didn't happen today!"
You make me move past it. It's not abuse. It's okay.
Because you're sorry. You didn't mean it. You never do.
Can't tell if this is love or hate that I feel for you.
About the Creator
Sara Wilson
Lover of the strange and unusual. I write mostly horror or true crime. I occasionally publish other things, but try not to write only for the sake of having content. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated!
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More stories from Sara Wilson and writers in Poets and other communities.
Doing it for the troops
The others dropped like flies around me. We fought and struggled to get to this point. I'm the only one left now. The objective is right there. A mere two hundred feet away. The last of my team got a bullet to the head right next to me, but I couldn't do anything. I was able to locate and neutralise the sniper as he shot my friend, so his death was at least not in vain.
By Mohammed Darasi2 days ago in Fiction
Comments (11)
DAMN that last line really puts a twist on the rest of the poem, that ambivalence that from the outside, seems so obvious. Ugh, the emotions you present here are so hard to fade away from, they punch the reader in the face, the gut, and leave bruises that only hint at what the speaker has gone through. I feel so heartbroken for them and other situations like this. Masterfully crafted. The rhymes were Seussian, but in a way that works, as they capture the ambivalence and confusion of the last line; of the whole situation, I'm sure. Wow.
Hey, I just want to let you know I've shared this poem in my recent story: https://vocal.media/poets/poppy-s-preferences-pt3
WOW! phenomenal writing! I pray that all is well ...
So much emotion, well written. Thanks for sharing
Two sides of the same coin. It all depends upon how it gets flipped. No laughing allowed.
Wow, this is incredibly written. It's filled with so much feeling and gives a really good insight into such a serious situation and issue. If it's from personal experience I'm really sorry, but thank you for sharing and raising awarness.
If you haven't lived with this, you've certainly written it convincingly. I'm inclined to believe the former and that saddens me. Either way, this is a powerful piece with an important message. Well done, Sara!
Woah!!! That was some powerful stuff, Sara. The “sorry” part reminds me of being a kid and saying in response “sorry didn’t do it, you did!” Turns out, sorry rarely fixes things, it just softens the blow. Great work! Hope all is well.
Oh my word. That was incredibly raw and powerful. You spelled it out so well. That anger, shame, confusion, defeat. This line summed it all up perfectly, 'Tell the world I'm your everything while you make me feel small.'
🥹📝❤️-I Am Only Human
Sorry Sara. If this is autobiographical...which I have a feeling it is. I am sorry you experienced that. This, was a powerful bit of poetry and such a gut punch. So sad, but the fact that you are here, writing it...is a positive and a display of your strong character. Well done and thank you for being so brave and open!