Something Low Key

When we met

It was all still very raw.

I was still very raw.

(perhaps I still am?)

I had started making plans

coffee and breakfast dates

something low key

where I could exercise my charm muscles

and see if I still had humor beyond dad jokes

but where I wouldn't have to end up naked.

(figuratively and literally)

Fifty-one year old gay men can do that, I hear.

(have a date and remain clothed)

So it was no surprise when you invited me to your place

after the very first date

but maybe a surprise

that I opted out.

Fifty-one year old gay men can do that, too, I hear.

(surprise people)

Still, it was only a week later that I returned,

another breakfast date

another invitation

and, this time,

I decided to go home with you.

And even though it was a bit awkward

And even though I was a bit scared

And even though I worried about what was happening,

You smiled,

and wrapped me in your warmth,

and welcomed me in.

And now it's been several months of breakfast dates

and going home with you

and while I'm trying hard not to make too much

of the comfort we seem to have

and the ways you make me feel,

I'm also quite sure

(at least in this moment)

that this is exactly what I was hoping to find.