I’m changing, choking, crying, lingering, laughing
Am I the laughable laughingstock
Am I the one who has been tossed aside, ashore, away, or flat on my back like a whore
A welp, a dog, a sacrifice, a rat
I feel so small, like the tiniest bit of writing on a scratch paper
But I bellow this one thing like a whale
I take the picture of whore, welp, back
When I wrote those things
I was opening my mouth, legs and eyes
Too much, too little
You wounded my letters with furious jumps
Tattering my feet with your chains and fingers
Tasting your fingers in my dreams
That you angrily spat back at me
For tortured judgment was your way
Passive aggressive words that felt loving but were acting like a fantasy
A fantastic story that was never to be told or seen or heard
I’m smallish, happy and grateful and fearless but scared
I’m not small enough
Words can only desire, designate or even fire off like a cannon
Or cancel noises
So furiously silent
Fucking in a letter dated a year ago
Those sounds were blocked off
By a cruel wind
Traffic jam that found itself backed up in your head
I’m too fucking exhausted to find the words
To finish this small poem.
About the Creator
Melissa Ingoldsby
I am a published author on Patheos,
I am Bexley by Resurgence Novels
The Half Paper Moon on Golden Storyline Books for Kindle.
The Job, The Space between Us and Atonement published by JMS Books this year!!
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Reader insights
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Compelling and original writing
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Comments (4)
Nice choice of words.
"Passive aggressive words that felt loving but were acting like a fantasy" I cannotttttt express in words how much I love that line! Your poem was so intense and I hope you're okay. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
So I've been told. Sorry about that.
ohh man i feel the raw emotion in this one.