Silence

I should feel accomplished

Part of me actually does

To the other side

I close my eyes and reminisce

Of random moments

That held joy and happiness

Laughter, true laughter

And a bright light glowing around me

Then I open my eyes

I hear the silence

I hear it through the whistling wind

I hear it through my breathing

I hear it through the deep dark night

It is literally nothing

It is the response of a rock

Or maybe that of a tree

Wait—It couldn’t be a tree

I would’ve heard the swaying branches

What is more silent than rejection

Rather the lack of response rejection

Is he merely a coward

Or does he want to pretend I don’t exist

Maybe he saves me this way

To let me not feel embarrassed

To make me not actually feel rejected

So I may move along and stop trying

And yet, I just feel unworthy

Unworthy of an “I’m not interested”

He took the cowardice road

My mind is paying his tolls

But I took the winding road

That road of courage and fear

Acknowledgment is better than silence

But I will rest my purpose

I cannot force a boy to be a man

I cannot speak to what I want to hear

I can move forward

And know I didn’t hold back

I did not leave silence

I merely followed his cue of no response